[via gchat]
Me: Yo
Sent at 10:59 PM on Saturday
Me: yoyoyoyyoyoyo
Sent at 11:03 PM on Saturday
David: What
Sent at 11:11 PM on Saturday
David: What do you want
David: Hurry up
David: I'm jacking off.
Me: wtff
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
MLK Catch 22
A quickie:
2010's MLK day was not a good day for me. Woke up with what I believe to be food poisoning. Basically woke up with a huge headache, then realized I had to throw up, then as I was trying to throw up realized I had to poop.
That crap always happens to me. When I have to puke, I have to poop. My body puts the two hand in hand. It's actually a huge dilemma cause if I drop a load I don't want to stick my face into the toilet fulla feces and throw up y'know? It's not even the feces - course I'd flush. I hate the idea of 'fecal matter'. Fecal matter just sounds disgusting. It's also everywhere which is double gross. Fecal matter. *Shiver. Almost as bad as period blood. *Shiver. Ugh I just grossed myself out.
Logically - you puke first, then #2 y'know? Face is out of toilet and it's all good. but it's so hard cause your body contorts all those random muscles to puke. Seriously puking is an ab work out for me. Abs are always sore when I'm done... and also so firm and so nice HAR!! Am I the only one? But then when you poo first and you're pushing and you're all nauseous and hyper sensitive to the stench... just makes you wanna puke!
One time I REALLY had to deuce and I thought I could hold my puke but I couldn't so I thought it'd be smart to lean over while still on the toilet and puke into my bathtub. Body is happy and face isn't shoved into bowl full of feces. Win/win!...
Never puke into your bathtub.
Time to sleep - I'm in my last semester of college. I kinda took two years off from school kinda so I've been here for a while. An ex-girlfriend called me Van Wilder. Like "you're my van wilder". Lol wtf. I laughed but I got mad inside haha. VAN WILDER NO MORE.
2010's MLK day was not a good day for me. Woke up with what I believe to be food poisoning. Basically woke up with a huge headache, then realized I had to throw up, then as I was trying to throw up realized I had to poop.
That crap always happens to me. When I have to puke, I have to poop. My body puts the two hand in hand. It's actually a huge dilemma cause if I drop a load I don't want to stick my face into the toilet fulla feces and throw up y'know? It's not even the feces - course I'd flush. I hate the idea of 'fecal matter'. Fecal matter just sounds disgusting. It's also everywhere which is double gross. Fecal matter. *Shiver. Almost as bad as period blood. *Shiver. Ugh I just grossed myself out.
Logically - you puke first, then #2 y'know? Face is out of toilet and it's all good. but it's so hard cause your body contorts all those random muscles to puke. Seriously puking is an ab work out for me. Abs are always sore when I'm done... and also so firm and so nice HAR!! Am I the only one? But then when you poo first and you're pushing and you're all nauseous and hyper sensitive to the stench... just makes you wanna puke!
One time I REALLY had to deuce and I thought I could hold my puke but I couldn't so I thought it'd be smart to lean over while still on the toilet and puke into my bathtub. Body is happy and face isn't shoved into bowl full of feces. Win/win!...
Never puke into your bathtub.
Time to sleep - I'm in my last semester of college. I kinda took two years off from school kinda so I've been here for a while. An ex-girlfriend called me Van Wilder. Like "you're my van wilder". Lol wtf. I laughed but I got mad inside haha. VAN WILDER NO MORE.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
wtf Shorts
Just a bunch of things that made me wtf around the time I came back to Illinois from home -
(Doesn't that look like Jennifer Love Hewitt?)
Some 16 yr old was having an online affair over the game World of Warcraft with a fellow 42 year old guildmate. The two would talk over vent (a computer telephone type of thing) and finally she decided to go see him to hook up. I think she thought he was 20. lol
It's crazy cause this actually happens a lot. I actually knew a guy who played with this one couple, a husband and a wife. He was always flirty with the wife and one day while the husband was away for some sort of business he joked that she should drive 4-5 hours to see him. And she did. Imagine that? Getting into a fight in WoW over an item that you want or something and the other guy going "OH YEAH? WELL I BANGED YOUR WIFE." Burn.
There was actually an incident a long time ago on WoW in which a guildmate had actually died in real life. The guild found out and decided to have a funeral for him. (So in wow you can control the appearance of your character - clothes and what not).
So they're having this virtual funeral for him... and then an opposing faction finds out and decides to raid the funeral (basically kill them all in-game.) So his guild died at his virtual funeral -_-
I take the bus from O'hare airport down to my campus. I was sitting on the coach bus dozing on and off and I turn around cause I hear some giggling. It's dark so you can't see but I could make out this couple like...dry humping and hands and feet and wtf.
While I was gone I had my friend house sit for me cause being away from your apartment for a long time makes sketchy people come out. I dunno why he's not particularly large but he takes MONSTER craps. He confessed to clogging my toilet after denying it because I noticed a brand new plunger next to my toilet. It's gotta be in my head or something but my toilet flushes aren't as strong anymore.
This guy is Artie Lange. He's Howard Stern's lacky. He tried to kill himself via stabbing. Not cut his wrists or throat, STABBING. wtf. He stabbed himself 9 times. wtf. He's alive. wtf Beast mode.
WoW Love
(Doesn't that look like Jennifer Love Hewitt?)
Some 16 yr old was having an online affair over the game World of Warcraft with a fellow 42 year old guildmate. The two would talk over vent (a computer telephone type of thing) and finally she decided to go see him to hook up. I think she thought he was 20. lol
It's crazy cause this actually happens a lot. I actually knew a guy who played with this one couple, a husband and a wife. He was always flirty with the wife and one day while the husband was away for some sort of business he joked that she should drive 4-5 hours to see him. And she did. Imagine that? Getting into a fight in WoW over an item that you want or something and the other guy going "OH YEAH? WELL I BANGED YOUR WIFE." Burn.
There was actually an incident a long time ago on WoW in which a guildmate had actually died in real life. The guild found out and decided to have a funeral for him. (So in wow you can control the appearance of your character - clothes and what not).
So they're having this virtual funeral for him... and then an opposing faction finds out and decides to raid the funeral (basically kill them all in-game.) So his guild died at his virtual funeral -_-
PD....A?"
I take the bus from O'hare airport down to my campus. I was sitting on the coach bus dozing on and off and I turn around cause I hear some giggling. It's dark so you can't see but I could make out this couple like...dry humping and hands and feet and wtf.
My toilet
While I was gone I had my friend house sit for me cause being away from your apartment for a long time makes sketchy people come out. I dunno why he's not particularly large but he takes MONSTER craps. He confessed to clogging my toilet after denying it because I noticed a brand new plunger next to my toilet. It's gotta be in my head or something but my toilet flushes aren't as strong anymore.
Wtf
This guy is Artie Lange. He's Howard Stern's lacky. He tried to kill himself via stabbing. Not cut his wrists or throat, STABBING. wtf. He stabbed himself 9 times. wtf. He's alive. wtf Beast mode.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Makin' Daddy Proud
I'm at the airport - my dad predicted with all the new airport terrorist scares the security would be CRAZY as in: I would be frisked, my luggage would be thrown and strewn about, I would be interrogated for my secret identity.
And... things went as normal lol.
My dad has some interesting views on the world. These usually come up when we're talking about things like Christianity and it leads into the state of the world today. I mean arguing with the guy is hard because he abuses his privilege to not listen to me and just wait til I stop making noise lol. Pops just has high expectations for his son I suppose.
A little taste:
Dad: This terrorism stuff is getting out of hand. You know, everyone was happy with religion before Jesus came along.
Me: Well, he shook things up. But there was still conflict.
Dad: Yeah, that's not cool Christians and Muslims killing each other.
Me: Well, that's only the extremists...
Dad: No. People should get along.
Me: In a perfect world, we'd all get along but conflict is inevitable if you believe in different things.
Dad: Muslims and Christians won't be able to get along.
Me: Well many do but - not those extremists.
Dad: We should compensate and reconcile.
Me: Why?
Dad: For world peace.
Me: But what about the beliefs?
Dad: How would you reconcile Muslim and Christian relations?
Me: Globally?
Dad: Of course.
Me: ....
Dad: You don't know what you're talking about.
Me: You can't ask me that! How am I supposed to know?
Dad: Why not?
I mean there was a lot more to it than that... we talked about things like biopower, the Roman Empire (lol) and rising Muslim populations in blue collar areas in Europe blah blah politics. But his ultimate finishing move is answering this crazy question and when I don't know how to answer it's GG :pose for camera: peace out. I got my dad REALLY ticked off one time cause I couldn't answer... I was on the computer -
Dad: [walks in] You read the news?
Me: Yeah, now and then.
Dad: Sigh. Healthcare situation is terrible here.
Me: Seriously.
Dad: Canada is so much better.
Me: I guess cause it's for everyone.
Dad: How would you fix healthcare in the U.S.?
Me: ....
Dad: You don't read enough news.
I mean the guy reads a lot of news but c'mon. If I knew the answers to those questions I think I'd be chillin in the White House.
Dad: How do you think Newton came up with those kinds of physics laws?
Me: Observation? Genius?
Dad: What do you think went through his head?
Me: Like.. specifically?
Dad: Yeup.
Me: (Ugh)...I really don't know... I mean didn't he make calculus? (So I threw out a random trivia fact I knew to blanket the impact of my "I don't know" it's proven to work. I do it all the time now lol)
Dad: Hmph. You need to think about that more.
Lol he got really mad at me after that one - something like "You waste your time thinking about nonsense!"
Dad: When you worked in Chicago what did you think about the economy?
Me: I mean the DOW dropped like 700 points the first day I worked (I threw that in there cause I knew something was going down. Again the blanket.) - it sucked.
Dad: Geez... that bad huh?
Me: Yeah - it was pretty sad.
Dad: What was the solution you came up with?
Me: ....
Dad: ?
Me: For the recession?
Dad: Yeah.
Me: I don't know what I'd do...
Dad: How do you not know after you worked?
So please, I need your help -
How do I solve Muslim and Christian relations globally?
How do I solve U.S. healthcare problems?
What went through Newton's head when he came up with theories?
What do I need to do to get our economy out of the recession?
And... things went as normal lol.
My dad has some interesting views on the world. These usually come up when we're talking about things like Christianity and it leads into the state of the world today. I mean arguing with the guy is hard because he abuses his privilege to not listen to me and just wait til I stop making noise lol. Pops just has high expectations for his son I suppose.
A little taste:
Dad: This terrorism stuff is getting out of hand. You know, everyone was happy with religion before Jesus came along.
Me: Well, he shook things up. But there was still conflict.
Dad: Yeah, that's not cool Christians and Muslims killing each other.
Me: Well, that's only the extremists...
Dad: No. People should get along.
Me: In a perfect world, we'd all get along but conflict is inevitable if you believe in different things.
Dad: Muslims and Christians won't be able to get along.
Me: Well many do but - not those extremists.
Dad: We should compensate and reconcile.
Me: Why?
Dad: For world peace.
Me: But what about the beliefs?
Dad: How would you reconcile Muslim and Christian relations?
Me: Globally?
Dad: Of course.
Me: ....
Dad: You don't know what you're talking about.
Me: You can't ask me that! How am I supposed to know?
Dad: Why not?
I mean there was a lot more to it than that... we talked about things like biopower, the Roman Empire (lol) and rising Muslim populations in blue collar areas in Europe blah blah politics. But his ultimate finishing move is answering this crazy question and when I don't know how to answer it's GG :pose for camera: peace out. I got my dad REALLY ticked off one time cause I couldn't answer... I was on the computer -
Dad: [walks in] You read the news?
Me: Yeah, now and then.
Dad: Sigh. Healthcare situation is terrible here.
Me: Seriously.
Dad: Canada is so much better.
Me: I guess cause it's for everyone.
Dad: How would you fix healthcare in the U.S.?
Me: ....
Dad: You don't read enough news.
I mean the guy reads a lot of news but c'mon. If I knew the answers to those questions I think I'd be chillin in the White House.
Dad: How do you think Newton came up with those kinds of physics laws?
Me: Observation? Genius?
Dad: What do you think went through his head?
Me: Like.. specifically?
Dad: Yeup.
Me: (Ugh)...I really don't know... I mean didn't he make calculus? (So I threw out a random trivia fact I knew to blanket the impact of my "I don't know" it's proven to work. I do it all the time now lol)
Dad: Hmph. You need to think about that more.
Lol he got really mad at me after that one - something like "You waste your time thinking about nonsense!"
Dad: When you worked in Chicago what did you think about the economy?
Me: I mean the DOW dropped like 700 points the first day I worked (I threw that in there cause I knew something was going down. Again the blanket.) - it sucked.
Dad: Geez... that bad huh?
Me: Yeah - it was pretty sad.
Dad: What was the solution you came up with?
Me: ....
Dad: ?
Me: For the recession?
Dad: Yeah.
Me: I don't know what I'd do...
Dad: How do you not know after you worked?
So please, I need your help -
How do I solve Muslim and Christian relations globally?
How do I solve U.S. healthcare problems?
What went through Newton's head when he came up with theories?
What do I need to do to get our economy out of the recession?
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Wikipolice
I tried to edit the entry 'Maryland' by putting the word 'penis' in a picture caption.
5 seconds later my edit was deleted. I did it again with something else and again deleted. I then received these PMs for both violations. The man responsible for my capture: a fellow named MANWAY... -
"Such edits constitute vandalism and are reverted." What's interesting is for the words vandalism and reverted he makes them LINKS to the wikipedia entries for the words as I have done here. Most likely a move to make me feel stupid? Bastard got me.
Basically he's saying, "Hey idiot. Quit fckin' editing this or no more wiki for you. Pwn'd." - Love, Manway. (lol I actually tried to MAKE a wiki page for "no more wiki" with a short definition of what that would mean and literally 5 seconds later it got deleted. Wikinerds mean business when it comes to their wiki.)
Sorry, Manway
5 seconds later my edit was deleted. I did it again with something else and again deleted. I then received these PMs for both violations. The man responsible for my capture: a fellow named MANWAY... -
"Such edits constitute vandalism and are reverted." What's interesting is for the words vandalism and reverted he makes them LINKS to the wikipedia entries for the words as I have done here. Most likely a move to make me feel stupid? Bastard got me.
Basically he's saying, "Hey idiot. Quit fckin' editing this or no more wiki for you. Pwn'd." - Love, Manway. (lol I actually tried to MAKE a wiki page for "no more wiki" with a short definition of what that would mean and literally 5 seconds later it got deleted. Wikinerds mean business when it comes to their wiki.)
Sorry, Manway
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Parenting 101: The Korean Sex Talk
Happy New Year :)
First entry of 2010 - my mom wants me to make it a good one... apparently.
SO. I'm home for the holidays - a lot's happened I'll talk about it in the future but...this is just something that I must get off my chest.
So my mom decided to sit me down and have the sex talk with me while I'm on break from school. Lol. I love my mom - I mean sometimes she forgets my age but I know she loves me with all her heart. She looks through my facebook sometimes to see any prospective girlfriends and gives me the down and dirty about them based on how big their noses are, how sharp their chins are, foreheads, teeth. It's interesting, maybe it'll come up another time.
Wait.
I gotta describe my dad's attempt at a sex talk first.
I'm sitting on the couch just hanging out watching T.V. and pops sits down next to me. My dad always tries to have this swag about him... so he sits down and -
"So - you been having sex?"
wtf.
Me: uhhh
Dad: Always use a condom. You got me?
Me: ... k
Dad: Good.
That was when I was 19. So almost 5 years later my mom decided it wasn't too late to take a crack at it. So... while we're looking through my facebook for fun -
Me: What about her?
Mom: Nono - she's mmm too dark-skinned.
My mom's not racist and the girl wasn't black, her skin was just dark toned. Ok I take it back, she's a little racist - but the girl really wasn't black.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Mom: Dark-skinned girls are too sexual crazy. SOOooo sexually demanding. The man, he comes home and he's so tired from work and they just keep bothering them and bothering them cause they want the sex. It's annoying for the man!
Me: (lol) Really now?
Mom: The dark skin girl always wants to be the sexual and the man is so tired from sex all the time they can't work properly if that happen. Stay away.
Me: ...Ok.
Mom: Why? You like the dark-skinned girls? Do they ask you for sex?
Me: wtf
Mom: You keep them away! I chase them out of my house.
MOM SAYS STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU DARK-SKINNED SEXUAL FIENDS.
First entry of 2010 - my mom wants me to make it a good one... apparently.
SO. I'm home for the holidays - a lot's happened I'll talk about it in the future but...this is just something that I must get off my chest.
So my mom decided to sit me down and have the sex talk with me while I'm on break from school. Lol. I love my mom - I mean sometimes she forgets my age but I know she loves me with all her heart. She looks through my facebook sometimes to see any prospective girlfriends and gives me the down and dirty about them based on how big their noses are, how sharp their chins are, foreheads, teeth. It's interesting, maybe it'll come up another time.
Wait.
I gotta describe my dad's attempt at a sex talk first.
I'm sitting on the couch just hanging out watching T.V. and pops sits down next to me. My dad always tries to have this swag about him... so he sits down and -
"So - you been having sex?"
wtf.
Me: uhhh
Dad: Always use a condom. You got me?
Me: ... k
Dad: Good.
That was when I was 19. So almost 5 years later my mom decided it wasn't too late to take a crack at it. So... while we're looking through my facebook for fun -
Me: What about her?
Mom: Nono - she's mmm too dark-skinned.
My mom's not racist and the girl wasn't black, her skin was just dark toned. Ok I take it back, she's a little racist - but the girl really wasn't black.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Mom: Dark-skinned girls are too sexual crazy. SOOooo sexually demanding. The man, he comes home and he's so tired from work and they just keep bothering them and bothering them cause they want the sex. It's annoying for the man!
Me: (lol) Really now?
Mom: The dark skin girl always wants to be the sexual and the man is so tired from sex all the time they can't work properly if that happen. Stay away.
Me: ...Ok.
Mom: Why? You like the dark-skinned girls? Do they ask you for sex?
Me: wtf
Mom: You keep them away! I chase them out of my house.
MOM SAYS STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU DARK-SKINNED SEXUAL FIENDS.
Monday, December 28, 2009
A Holiday Short
Amidst all the holidays that are going on of course there are holidays sales. I went to the mall today with my fam and HOLY CRAP IT WAS PACKED. I feel like Garden State Plaza (the mall I went to) is becoming sort of a tourist spot cause there is no clothing tax in Jersey so everyone takes their friends from out of state there.
But geez traffic was insane I definitely feel that east coast drivers are much angrier than midwest ones. So we're driving and this lady's trying to get in but my dad's not letting her and she's in the way of this other lady so everyone's mouthing curse at each other (well pop's was screaming em and they probably were too but they can't hear) and I thought to myself "Man, people gotta calm down it's the holidays."
I made eye contact with the raging fat lady in the Ford focus trying to get in (it's kinda weird every time I try to recall how an angry fat white lady looks I just imagine Rosie O'Donnell lol) and I give her a curt smile and a short wave (I am sitting shotgun). I definitely feel this sign is very powerful. I'm going to elaborate on this move in the future... it's pretty interesting. Fat lady did the arms up in the air and head back "UGH... sigh" type of thing. She stopped having a tantrum and we went on our way and everyone is kinda sorta happy.
So in short... use the wave. It's the holidays man.
But geez traffic was insane I definitely feel that east coast drivers are much angrier than midwest ones. So we're driving and this lady's trying to get in but my dad's not letting her and she's in the way of this other lady so everyone's mouthing curse at each other (well pop's was screaming em and they probably were too but they can't hear) and I thought to myself "Man, people gotta calm down it's the holidays."
I made eye contact with the raging fat lady in the Ford focus trying to get in (it's kinda weird every time I try to recall how an angry fat white lady looks I just imagine Rosie O'Donnell lol) and I give her a curt smile and a short wave (I am sitting shotgun). I definitely feel this sign is very powerful. I'm going to elaborate on this move in the future... it's pretty interesting. Fat lady did the arms up in the air and head back "UGH... sigh" type of thing. She stopped having a tantrum and we went on our way and everyone is kinda sorta happy.
So in short... use the wave. It's the holidays man.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Home is pwn
No tests for a while!!!!
And no real incident at the airport!!!!
When I was younger I used to hate coming home from school due to the fact that I had become sick of the surroundings and tired of not being able to do whatever the hell I want without some sort of criticism (from mom and pop mostly).
Lol - maybe it's cause I have two roommates now but I freakin' love home. Here are a couple things that have recently made home pretty awesome:
My relatives like to get trashed on holidays -
I got really drunk at Thanksgiving family gathering...My cousins really like to bring on the drinks - so hard to say no when they tell you how expensive it is and how they're just FREELY giving. I THINK I hid it pretty well... someone commented that I was able to hold my drink well... and then this conversation ensued with my dad:
Dad: Hey, can you drive home?
Me: Dad... I'll be honest, if I drive we gonna die. (I spoke ghetto speak to him)
Dad: Alright. (Lies down and passes out)
Me: What're you doing?
Dad: I have to sleep a little (to sober up)
Patty don't tell dad I put this here.
My mom and sister are a big part too. My sister's 30 years old and when we're together we both become 12 and 10 (obviously me being the slightly more mature).
I live in a great neighborhood with LOTS of great Asian food. In my area it is actually Korean fried chicken that is the fried chicken of choice!!!!
And on the topic of food, you won't find managers as demographically savvy as the ones in our area!
Take WENDY'S for instance.
Ahh yes there she is - pale as a ghost.
There is a particular WENDY's at a mall in an area that is demographically minorities. Obviously the manager was smart enough to appeal to them! The mall decided to open up a store featuring Wendy's distant cousin Wakeisha.
Me pointing @ it.. I'm thinkin mom's sister had a thing for the dark skinned man.
Click it for a bigger view!
<3 home! I'll update a lot while I'm here :)
And no real incident at the airport!!!!
When I was younger I used to hate coming home from school due to the fact that I had become sick of the surroundings and tired of not being able to do whatever the hell I want without some sort of criticism (from mom and pop mostly).
Lol - maybe it's cause I have two roommates now but I freakin' love home. Here are a couple things that have recently made home pretty awesome:
My relatives like to get trashed on holidays -
I got really drunk at Thanksgiving family gathering...My cousins really like to bring on the drinks - so hard to say no when they tell you how expensive it is and how they're just FREELY giving. I THINK I hid it pretty well... someone commented that I was able to hold my drink well... and then this conversation ensued with my dad:
Dad: Hey, can you drive home?
Me: Dad... I'll be honest, if I drive we gonna die. (I spoke ghetto speak to him)
Dad: Alright. (Lies down and passes out)
Me: What're you doing?
Dad: I have to sleep a little (to sober up)
Patty don't tell dad I put this here.
My mom and sister are a big part too. My sister's 30 years old and when we're together we both become 12 and 10 (obviously me being the slightly more mature).
I live in a great neighborhood with LOTS of great Asian food. In my area it is actually Korean fried chicken that is the fried chicken of choice!!!!
And on the topic of food, you won't find managers as demographically savvy as the ones in our area!
Take WENDY'S for instance.
Ahh yes there she is - pale as a ghost.
There is a particular WENDY's at a mall in an area that is demographically minorities. Obviously the manager was smart enough to appeal to them! The mall decided to open up a store featuring Wendy's distant cousin Wakeisha.
Me pointing @ it.. I'm thinkin mom's sister had a thing for the dark skinned man.
Click it for a bigger view!
<3 home! I'll update a lot while I'm here :)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
THE WORST AGAIN
Ugh! Sorry for another delay - right when I got back to school I found out I was swamped with work lol.
Anyhoo - first thing's first.
I wrote about my experience @ the airport - but then ON the plane... My seatmate was totally trashed outta his mind, it was pretty ridiculous. When drink's were offered he ordered a gin and tonic and then began to talk to me about iPods. He said:
"So my iPod...I can shake it like this *shake shake* and it'll shuffle the song. See? *shake shake* Wait, wtf... it's not shuffling." *shake shake* wtf? *shake shake shake shake shake shake shake THROW* And he THREW it down on the ground. And I looked at him and he looked at me and smiled and said, "Heh I bet it shuffled then." lol
After that he passed out... on my shoulder. I had window seat and I was leaning AWAY from him on the window and he was all over me...big burly 200 pound drunk guy. Cute.
I've been prompted with this a lot nowadays cause I really wanna do some sort of video blog.... but what do you think is a formula for a hit series youtube account? Kevjumba is apparently the #1 most subscribed Youtuber.... even Jessica Alba responds to his videos.... but I honestly don't think he's that funny! And there's this guy "Fred"... he gets millions of view per video and his stuff is absolute garbage. Like, I get angry thinking about the people who enjoy his stuff and think that they are the reason this world is going into the gutter... seriously that bad. Every episode deserves to be hated on - such garbage i hate him.
But one girl... Michelle Phan has found this formula to get tons of hits. What she does is teaches different make up things. I mean it's clever - and she's successful. But there was one episode that I came across... it has earned its place on THE WORST.
Basically this video is to learn how to do make up and dress up like "Sailor Moon".
I have a couple notes for you to read as you watch... you can skip the whole make up thing and go to the end.
(Lol someone commented: "I will never look at the moon ever again cause of you." lolol)
So skipping to 7:40...
7:40 - Finished product... she doesn't look remotely like sailor moon. She looks like a prostitute.
7:52 - Talking about Luna? "SO CUTE!" and then she goes into talking about her monkey... from family guy wtf.
8:13 - "HER MESSAGE BEGINS" OMG listen to this pile of crap.
8:18 - lolol good camera man... zooms in to cover her butt. the wind blows her skirt up as she posing lololol
8:22 - Make up is similar to a superhero costume wtf? No duh you feel more confident your face looks totally different.
8:30 - It's your "alter-ego" (caption says POWER)
8:38 - Every girl has a sailor moon in her with dreams blah blah blah held back blah blah blah 'waiting for someone to accept you for who you are' so put on your fake face. Make yourself look like a whore, boys will like you.
Ugh I thought i could do it but the rest is too cheesy to write about. I agree. I will never look at the moon the same. Cut the self help stick with make up toots.
Anyhoo - first thing's first.
I wrote about my experience @ the airport - but then ON the plane... My seatmate was totally trashed outta his mind, it was pretty ridiculous. When drink's were offered he ordered a gin and tonic and then began to talk to me about iPods. He said:
"So my iPod...I can shake it like this *shake shake* and it'll shuffle the song. See? *shake shake* Wait, wtf... it's not shuffling." *shake shake* wtf? *shake shake shake shake shake shake shake THROW* And he THREW it down on the ground. And I looked at him and he looked at me and smiled and said, "Heh I bet it shuffled then." lol
After that he passed out... on my shoulder. I had window seat and I was leaning AWAY from him on the window and he was all over me...big burly 200 pound drunk guy. Cute.
I've been prompted with this a lot nowadays cause I really wanna do some sort of video blog.... but what do you think is a formula for a hit series youtube account? Kevjumba is apparently the #1 most subscribed Youtuber.... even Jessica Alba responds to his videos.... but I honestly don't think he's that funny! And there's this guy "Fred"... he gets millions of view per video and his stuff is absolute garbage. Like, I get angry thinking about the people who enjoy his stuff and think that they are the reason this world is going into the gutter... seriously that bad. Every episode deserves to be hated on - such garbage i hate him.
But one girl... Michelle Phan has found this formula to get tons of hits. What she does is teaches different make up things. I mean it's clever - and she's successful. But there was one episode that I came across... it has earned its place on THE WORST.
Basically this video is to learn how to do make up and dress up like "Sailor Moon".
I have a couple notes for you to read as you watch... you can skip the whole make up thing and go to the end.
(Lol someone commented: "I will never look at the moon ever again cause of you." lolol)
So skipping to 7:40...
7:40 - Finished product... she doesn't look remotely like sailor moon. She looks like a prostitute.
7:52 - Talking about Luna? "SO CUTE!" and then she goes into talking about her monkey... from family guy wtf.
8:13 - "HER MESSAGE BEGINS" OMG listen to this pile of crap.
8:18 - lolol good camera man... zooms in to cover her butt. the wind blows her skirt up as she posing lololol
8:22 - Make up is similar to a superhero costume wtf? No duh you feel more confident your face looks totally different.
8:30 - It's your "alter-ego" (caption says POWER)
8:38 - Every girl has a sailor moon in her with dreams blah blah blah held back blah blah blah 'waiting for someone to accept you for who you are' so put on your fake face. Make yourself look like a whore, boys will like you.
Ugh I thought i could do it but the rest is too cheesy to write about. I agree. I will never look at the moon the same. Cut the self help stick with make up toots.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Airports Again: Boston Thoughts
Airports love me -
I had a flight to Chicago with a layover in Boston...
Flight to Boston got cancelled got on the next one 3 hrs later.
Land - missed my original flight to Chicago - next flight to Chicago has a broken fckin plane. Nice. AA stinks. Last time I flying it...
I was supposed to arrive at my apartment around 8pm. Now I'll be in around 1am.
It's ok... I have internet here. Boston sucks, even though the airport is nice I just don't like Boston. Boston makes me think bad things. I think being in BOSTON just makes the delay worse. Bleh.
So there's this couple sitting across from me - I'd say a new couple about to get married, early 30's late 20's. They keep scowling and scoffing at this baby that's upset. I am secretly wishing that their baby screeches like a banshee.
There was a kid to my left (Ugh, I need a camera!) with his family. Totally nice family cute dog... but the kid (about 7, 8?) had this long ass ponytail and a thick ass neon pink game? book. I couldn't stop thinking of all the homosexual possibilities that waited for this boy.
Just like this one. So gay.
(This picture was titled "Chinese Ponytail" lol)
There's this girl sitting to my right - I have no idea what school she goes to I'm assuming it's something around here and she won't stfu about how she's going to Geneva for a 2 year program for interpretation for English, Spanish - and French. "You can't leave out that it's for French too." Se taire! (shuttup? I think) "Geneva's a REALLY good school for it. And then, I can work at the UN and what not." I hate her, and then she asked me to watch her stuff. But I secretly wasn't watching it, I was typing crap about her while no one watched her bag.
Lol. I feel better now. Gonna order a fat CALZONE right when I get back.
I had a flight to Chicago with a layover in Boston...
Flight to Boston got cancelled got on the next one 3 hrs later.
Land - missed my original flight to Chicago - next flight to Chicago has a broken fckin plane. Nice. AA stinks. Last time I flying it...
I was supposed to arrive at my apartment around 8pm. Now I'll be in around 1am.
It's ok... I have internet here. Boston sucks, even though the airport is nice I just don't like Boston. Boston makes me think bad things. I think being in BOSTON just makes the delay worse. Bleh.
So there's this couple sitting across from me - I'd say a new couple about to get married, early 30's late 20's. They keep scowling and scoffing at this baby that's upset. I am secretly wishing that their baby screeches like a banshee.
There was a kid to my left (Ugh, I need a camera!) with his family. Totally nice family cute dog... but the kid (about 7, 8?) had this long ass ponytail and a thick ass neon pink game? book. I couldn't stop thinking of all the homosexual possibilities that waited for this boy.
Just like this one. So gay.
(This picture was titled "Chinese Ponytail" lol)
There's this girl sitting to my right - I have no idea what school she goes to I'm assuming it's something around here and she won't stfu about how she's going to Geneva for a 2 year program for interpretation for English, Spanish - and French. "You can't leave out that it's for French too." Se taire! (shuttup? I think) "Geneva's a REALLY good school for it. And then, I can work at the UN and what not." I hate her, and then she asked me to watch her stuff. But I secretly wasn't watching it, I was typing crap about her while no one watched her bag.
Lol. I feel better now. Gonna order a fat CALZONE right when I get back.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saving the World - One Dog at a time
I HAD A CAMERA FOR THIS POST!!!!!!
So - I was on my way home from studying at around 3am getting dropped off by my friend Clarisa. She stopped in front of my building to drop me off and then we see this little dog just SKITTER across. It wasn't fast like a roach - but I used skittered cause it was so weak that's what it looked like it was doing (and mind you it was COLD and RAINY).
After a little bit of coaxing the dog and convincing ourselves it is our duty to take this dog in....we take it into my place - dry him off and realize he smells like asshole. I also did not know this would consume 6 hrs from thence
For lack of a better word cause he really smelled like asshole. So I decided to shampoo him a lil bit - and I know shampoo is bad for dogs for some reason but he really did smell like the butthole of a cow/horse.
Even then his smell lingered and he was still shivering so we wrapped him in some dry towels and I tried to feed him a hot dog.
Bad idea.
He threw up the hotdog and omg it smelled even worse and he just kept puking a lil bit by bit. SO next best thing - I fed him Honey Nut Cheerios lol. The reasoning that it's KIND of like dog food... And he ate it like a BEAST - literally like 3 bowls.
Here is post feeding:
I tried to lock him in my bathroom so I could get some work done but he would not let this be a half assed save - this was a full time job. (Hence he was given the name 'Prince Baby' cause when left alone he cried - he needed to be pampered ALL NIGHT.)
As you can see :
Lovin' the attention
Prince Baby did not know how to do anything like sit, shake, stay, roll, or play with a ball - but he was extremely loyal. I think he recognized that his life was saved that night cause when we took him out for a walk (TWICE) to poo he followed us around no problem without a leash. I was so convinced he would poop after eating all those cheerios... I mean that's so much fiber. But nothing! I took him to shrub after shrub and then to a lamp post and then a fire hydrant....no poop. This gave me some dissatisfaction the first time - I almost felt constipated - so we tried again but no poop. Whenever I would walk from spot to spot he would frolic in between my legs...so cute!
I was scared he was sick I wouldn't have been able to take good care of him so I sent him to the Humane Society. I no longer have Prince Baby and I really do miss him... But I got some good videos!
Here is the Prince snoozing. He would only sleep when we were with him....
Here's me trying to teach the Prince how to dance in my bathroom:
Honestly - I've never seen a dog with its kahones before - they're always neutered!
(Bob Barker reference...)
and I thought it was hilarious.
Balls. lolol
Monday, November 16, 2009
Owned, Little Chinese Girl!
I know I know - another long break, I've been sick.
Straight to business.
My school uses a method of keeping attendance and participation in large classrooms via a mechanism called an iClicker.
This stupid thing is definitely not Apple affiliated - I have no idea why it's 'iClicker'. The dreaded things are 30$!!!!!! And VERY elusive...I've lost a couple =T Don't yell at me, Patty.
So basically you register your school ID to it and when you click in Answers (A-E) it registers that to this receiver the teacher has. SO - you can imagine during a Powerpoint the teacher posts up a question and people are busy clicking away while a timer counts down (usually 30 seconds). When this timer is finished your answer will no longer register. When it registers you get a green light, when it doesn't you get a red.
You can change your answer all you like - the last answer you put in is the one that will count.
SO! In my insurance class the teacher uses this method HEAVILY. I must admit that I'm not the best at these questions and it's a very common thing for people to look at other people and see what they're clicking. I mean c'mon - it doesn't hurt anyone it's just for participation points.
WELL, there's this one Chinese girl in my class (she's a fob and speaks obnoxiously loud) who seemed very confident about her answers so I had decided to take a peek at what she was clicking ( I was sitting directly behind her). I don't want to be shady so I'm pretty obvious about the fact that I'm looking.
So this particular question is multiple choice A-E. I was able to eliminate it to either A or B, so if I saw her click in anything else I would dismiss her and move on.
She clicked B. So naturally I thought "Sweet! B!" And clicked B. She then proceeded to click B once again with about 10 seconds left to go... fine. The count down is about to end.
9...
8...
7...
6...
5... Huh? She's still holding her clicker..
4...
3... She pressed B again K... (I did too just in case)
2...
1... QUICKLY AND CONFIDENTLY SHE PRESSES A
0!!!!!!! I tried to press A but my answer didn't register (I got the red light)
In total shock I look at her and she turns around and gives me this ugly UGLY UGLY "Heh." Kind of look. So smug - like really? So I sat back in my chair all discontented and angry as our teacher went over why the answer was the answer. WHO DOES THAT?!
AND THE ANSWER WAS B.
And then she began to blabber all high pitched and frilly to her friend in Chinese like wtf? kind of deal.
So, I slowly leaned forward near her head , smiled courteously and said....
"Owned."
HAHA
Straight to business.
My school uses a method of keeping attendance and participation in large classrooms via a mechanism called an iClicker.
This stupid thing is definitely not Apple affiliated - I have no idea why it's 'iClicker'. The dreaded things are 30$!!!!!! And VERY elusive...I've lost a couple =T Don't yell at me, Patty.
So basically you register your school ID to it and when you click in Answers (A-E) it registers that to this receiver the teacher has. SO - you can imagine during a Powerpoint the teacher posts up a question and people are busy clicking away while a timer counts down (usually 30 seconds). When this timer is finished your answer will no longer register. When it registers you get a green light, when it doesn't you get a red.
You can change your answer all you like - the last answer you put in is the one that will count.
SO! In my insurance class the teacher uses this method HEAVILY. I must admit that I'm not the best at these questions and it's a very common thing for people to look at other people and see what they're clicking. I mean c'mon - it doesn't hurt anyone it's just for participation points.
WELL, there's this one Chinese girl in my class (she's a fob and speaks obnoxiously loud) who seemed very confident about her answers so I had decided to take a peek at what she was clicking ( I was sitting directly behind her). I don't want to be shady so I'm pretty obvious about the fact that I'm looking.
So this particular question is multiple choice A-E. I was able to eliminate it to either A or B, so if I saw her click in anything else I would dismiss her and move on.
She clicked B. So naturally I thought "Sweet! B!" And clicked B. She then proceeded to click B once again with about 10 seconds left to go... fine. The count down is about to end.
9...
8...
7...
6...
5... Huh? She's still holding her clicker..
4...
3... She pressed B again K... (I did too just in case)
2...
1... QUICKLY AND CONFIDENTLY SHE PRESSES A
0!!!!!!! I tried to press A but my answer didn't register (I got the red light)
In total shock I look at her and she turns around and gives me this ugly UGLY UGLY "Heh." Kind of look. So smug - like really? So I sat back in my chair all discontented and angry as our teacher went over why the answer was the answer. WHO DOES THAT?!
AND THE ANSWER WAS B.
And then she began to blabber all high pitched and frilly to her friend in Chinese like wtf? kind of deal.
So, I slowly leaned forward near her head , smiled courteously and said....
"Owned."
HAHA
Friday, October 30, 2009
Happy Halloween!
I know it's a day early but I don't think I'll have time to post tomorrow
I want itttttttttttttttttt:
Definitely went to a bar, transformed in front of a chick and got laid.
I want itttttttttttttttttt:
Definitely went to a bar, transformed in front of a chick and got laid.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Girl, Calm Yo'self
Whew busy week!
I was at an event called FACT. Supposedly the biggest Filipino American conference where people come to perform dances, spoken word, sing.
There was one spoken word girl that talked about girls cat calling her and racist remarks and what not. Y'know throwing it down Def-Jam Poetry style. She definitely fit that stereotype of 'empowered' woman exposing man pigs. It was good stuff. Kinda angry... I guess due to subject matter. So she was that 'angry, empowered' woman.
The whole 'Empower the woman!' 'Women are beautiful' 'Strong Woman' thing is everywhere - and I'm not saying it's a bad thing at all. IT'S NOT A BAD THING.
IT'S NOT A BAD THING.
... IT'S A GOOD THING
But honestly, some women overstep their bounds for real. Definitely puts men in a position where they can't really do anything cause they become THAT man. Perverted, unfaithful, and sick man. Something like this (Happened at a bar):
*Man bumps into woman
*They look at each other
Man: Sorry... *tries to walk away
Woman: EXCUSE ME?
Man: Huh
Woman: What were you trying to cop a feel or something?
Man: WHAT?!
Woman: DON'T YELL AT ME!
Man: HUH?!
Woman: UM, YOU'RE LOOKING AT MY BOOBS?! *points at boobs,
Y'know what the reaction here is? TO LOOK AT THE BOOBS.
Man: *Quickly looks up* I WASN'T!
Woman: OMG YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! PERVERT!
Woman's Large, muscular, presumably semi drunk friend: What's wrong?
Poor guy... I only got to watch up til there but still... She was on the offensive and he just got smaller and smaller. And I believe that's the initial reaction of most guys. I mean yeah men can be perverted, ogle at women, some do try to slap/grab a tooshie. But there's always that girl who thinks they're ALL DOING IT TO HER. "Omg, he won't stop staring." "Omg, he keeps staring at my legs cause of my short, short skirt." "Ew he's looking at my cleavage."
If you're going to be like that - Don't wear the fckin skirt. And put on a sweatshirt. The reason you're so cold and nipply when you go out at night is cause it's WINTER. lol
I ran into one of these situations myself. And Asians are definitely stereotypically passive... BUT SHE PICKED THE WRONG ONE TO GIRL-POWER TRIP ON. Errr I mean - I do believe I handled the situation well.
I was at a bar texting a friend who was supposed to have drinks with me. I was standing in a rather crowded area and as I was texting a girl approached me with her disgusting looking errr I mean disgusted looking (hehe) friend.
Girl: Um, did you just take a picture of my friend?
Me (Shock): No! I was texting!
Accuser: UM I SAW you take a picture of me.
And my initially reaction was to go on the passive-defensive.
Me: Look! (I flip through my album, no picture of girls there) I didn't!
Accuser: No, you DEFINITELY took a picture of me, creep!
And here I realized - "Wait, W-T-F." But you have to choose your words carefully. *edit* Seriously like INSULTED she would even THINK I would do that.
Me: (Half smile, lean in, and very calmly) I would NEVER take a picture of someone who looks like you - So you don't have to worry 'bout it. K? (Pwn. Walk away.)
I did not establish any superiority over her - but stated and expressed my preference.
NOT YOU, UGLY!
*For the record - regardless of what the girl looked like - if she approached me like that my reaction would have been the same. A girl actin' like that is sucha HUGE turn off.
I was at an event called FACT. Supposedly the biggest Filipino American conference where people come to perform dances, spoken word, sing.
There was one spoken word girl that talked about girls cat calling her and racist remarks and what not. Y'know throwing it down Def-Jam Poetry style. She definitely fit that stereotype of 'empowered' woman exposing man pigs. It was good stuff. Kinda angry... I guess due to subject matter. So she was that 'angry, empowered' woman.
The whole 'Empower the woman!' 'Women are beautiful' 'Strong Woman' thing is everywhere - and I'm not saying it's a bad thing at all. IT'S NOT A BAD THING.
IT'S NOT A BAD THING.
... IT'S A GOOD THING
But honestly, some women overstep their bounds for real. Definitely puts men in a position where they can't really do anything cause they become THAT man. Perverted, unfaithful, and sick man. Something like this (Happened at a bar):
*Man bumps into woman
*They look at each other
Man: Sorry... *tries to walk away
Woman: EXCUSE ME?
Man: Huh
Woman: What were you trying to cop a feel or something?
Man: WHAT?!
Woman: DON'T YELL AT ME!
Man: HUH?!
Woman: UM, YOU'RE LOOKING AT MY BOOBS?! *points at boobs,
Y'know what the reaction here is? TO LOOK AT THE BOOBS.
Man: *Quickly looks up* I WASN'T!
Woman: OMG YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! PERVERT!
Woman's Large, muscular, presumably semi drunk friend: What's wrong?
Poor guy... I only got to watch up til there but still... She was on the offensive and he just got smaller and smaller. And I believe that's the initial reaction of most guys. I mean yeah men can be perverted, ogle at women, some do try to slap/grab a tooshie. But there's always that girl who thinks they're ALL DOING IT TO HER. "Omg, he won't stop staring." "Omg, he keeps staring at my legs cause of my short, short skirt." "Ew he's looking at my cleavage."
If you're going to be like that - Don't wear the fckin skirt. And put on a sweatshirt. The reason you're so cold and nipply when you go out at night is cause it's WINTER. lol
I ran into one of these situations myself. And Asians are definitely stereotypically passive... BUT SHE PICKED THE WRONG ONE TO GIRL-POWER TRIP ON. Errr I mean - I do believe I handled the situation well.
I was at a bar texting a friend who was supposed to have drinks with me. I was standing in a rather crowded area and as I was texting a girl approached me with her disgusting looking errr I mean disgusted looking (hehe) friend.
Girl: Um, did you just take a picture of my friend?
Me (Shock): No! I was texting!
Accuser: UM I SAW you take a picture of me.
And my initially reaction was to go on the passive-defensive.
Me: Look! (I flip through my album, no picture of girls there) I didn't!
Accuser: No, you DEFINITELY took a picture of me, creep!
And here I realized - "Wait, W-T-F." But you have to choose your words carefully. *edit* Seriously like INSULTED she would even THINK I would do that.
Me: (Half smile, lean in, and very calmly) I would NEVER take a picture of someone who looks like you - So you don't have to worry 'bout it. K? (Pwn. Walk away.)
I did not establish any superiority over her - but stated and expressed my preference.
NOT YOU, UGLY!
*For the record - regardless of what the girl looked like - if she approached me like that my reaction would have been the same. A girl actin' like that is sucha HUGE turn off.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Doo Doo Diwali UNGG!
I am back from yet another busy week and hiatus from blogging - back in the spirit of Diwali! I have no idea what it is and what it's about cept that it's some sort of festival in Hinduism or something. I honestly just liked the name -_- - I just know it was today.
Yeah - pretty random...and going with that I have a couple random things.
I wasn't really aware people still did it. Mostly Indian cause the only people I know that do it are Indian. My friend David was good friends with this guy and after a while the guy just disappeared, screened all of Dave's phone calls, and stopped communicating. Finally, the guy calls him back and -
David: Dude, wtf why haven't you got at me?
Guy: Dude - I've been busy. I got married in Palestine.
David: WTF? Is your wife hot?
Guy: Hehe, yeah.
Holler. I guess that's a lot of faith in your folks to not pick an ugly - I mean c'mon - it's arranged so you're not gonna know their personality and blah blah blah, first encounter with your wifey is all looks.
There's this girl in my English class who likes to draw attention to herself and she is also getting an arranged marriage. She just complains and complains and people feel sorry for her -
Girl: UGH! I can't date anyone there's no point! I really wanna run away!
Class girl: Yeah! Just do that!
Girl: But it's really different when your whole family is just lined up telling you you have to marry this guy. It sucks so bad...He sent me all these engagement rings to pick from and I rejected them all. But by next week I'll be back with a 3 karot rock on my finger
Me: (eye roll)
Class girls: Awww.
Class guy: You should sell it and use the money to run away!
Girl: I'm just going to throw it out.
And this continued for like...10 minutes. So I decided to speak.
Class girl: Do you know what he looks like?
Girl: No, no picture - I'm going to hate him I know it.
Class girl: Awww I fee-
Me: What if he's really hot?
Girl: Huh?
Me: What if he's smokin' Indian Brad Pitt man of your dreams hot?
And I wanted to say...but I didn't wanna get lynched:
"I mean seriously - what if he's hot, smart, and pwntastic? And it's actually HIM who's stuck with YOU." lol I shoulda.
It happens. It sucks. Especially with new fresh underwear on.
My friend Chris drives an Audi A4. Very nice car - and thus this conversation with his little brother's 11 yr old friend.
Brat: What car do you drive?
Chris: ....an Audi A4 why?
Brat: Do you not have money? Why do you drive that piece of crap?
Chris: ....I have no other money for another car...
Brat: I can see that. I have money. I got $30,000 from Hanukkah last year.
wtf?
Brat: I'm going to drive a lambo.
I like to see brats like that get hit by buses.
lol Jk. Kind of. And his dad is a baker for a lot of the big restaurants in NYC so he wakes up everyday at 4am, bakes a lotta bread and sells it to the restaurants. Anyone want to start a bakery?
Little kids like to pretend to be animals and play and what not. In America, a child being a tiger goes "raaaah!!" "Rawr!" "Roar!" "Growl!". In Korea - a Korean child being a tiger goes "UNGGG!!" "UngGG!!!" "UNNNNNNNNNNGGG!" Where the fck did we get that noise from?
And PLEASE note fearless ice cold baby stare in picture. Wtf? lol.
Sigh - I'll try to update sooner next time.
Yeah - pretty random...and going with that I have a couple random things.
-Arranged Marriage-
I wasn't really aware people still did it. Mostly Indian cause the only people I know that do it are Indian. My friend David was good friends with this guy and after a while the guy just disappeared, screened all of Dave's phone calls, and stopped communicating. Finally, the guy calls him back and -
David: Dude, wtf why haven't you got at me?
Guy: Dude - I've been busy. I got married in Palestine.
David: WTF? Is your wife hot?
Guy: Hehe, yeah.
Holler. I guess that's a lot of faith in your folks to not pick an ugly - I mean c'mon - it's arranged so you're not gonna know their personality and blah blah blah, first encounter with your wifey is all looks.
There's this girl in my English class who likes to draw attention to herself and she is also getting an arranged marriage. She just complains and complains and people feel sorry for her -
Girl: UGH! I can't date anyone there's no point! I really wanna run away!
Class girl: Yeah! Just do that!
Girl: But it's really different when your whole family is just lined up telling you you have to marry this guy. It sucks so bad...He sent me all these engagement rings to pick from and I rejected them all. But by next week I'll be back with a 3 karot rock on my finger
Me: (eye roll)
Class girls: Awww.
Class guy: You should sell it and use the money to run away!
Girl: I'm just going to throw it out.
And this continued for like...10 minutes. So I decided to speak.
Class girl: Do you know what he looks like?
Girl: No, no picture - I'm going to hate him I know it.
Class girl: Awww I fee-
Me: What if he's really hot?
Girl: Huh?
Me: What if he's smokin' Indian Brad Pitt man of your dreams hot?
And I wanted to say...but I didn't wanna get lynched:
"I mean seriously - what if he's hot, smart, and pwntastic? And it's actually HIM who's stuck with YOU." lol I shoulda.
-Sharting-
It happens. It sucks. Especially with new fresh underwear on.
-Millionaire Bakers and their kids-
My friend Chris drives an Audi A4. Very nice car - and thus this conversation with his little brother's 11 yr old friend.
Brat: What car do you drive?
Chris: ....an Audi A4 why?
Brat: Do you not have money? Why do you drive that piece of crap?
Chris: ....I have no other money for another car...
Brat: I can see that. I have money. I got $30,000 from Hanukkah last year.
wtf?
Brat: I'm going to drive a lambo.
I like to see brats like that get hit by buses.
lol Jk. Kind of. And his dad is a baker for a lot of the big restaurants in NYC so he wakes up everyday at 4am, bakes a lotta bread and sells it to the restaurants. Anyone want to start a bakery?
-In Korea, tigers go "UNGGGGG!"-
Little kids like to pretend to be animals and play and what not. In America, a child being a tiger goes "raaaah!!" "Rawr!" "Roar!" "Growl!". In Korea - a Korean child being a tiger goes "UNGGG!!" "UngGG!!!" "UNNNNNNNNNNGGG!" Where the fck did we get that noise from?
And PLEASE note fearless ice cold baby stare in picture. Wtf? lol.
Sigh - I'll try to update sooner next time.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Finally... Geeks again
I've been having a really rough couple of past weeks. Exams and what not.
But finally - what I've learned about Gaming Geeks. This post is pretty vulgar and offensive but pretty interesting cause you'll only see it if you play games.
This population of people is....
the most VULGAR, most RACIST, most PERVERTED group of people you will ever meet. Ever. And yet why does this all go unnoticed?!
That'll take us into their HABITAT.
These guys are often referred to as the "Keyboard Warriors". They'll talk smack all day, as long as their behind a computer screen. When it's in person it's a totally different story. Perfect example of a friend of mine:
1:11 PM
urameshiikokushi:dude i beat this one HUGE black bitch at this one tournament
it was such a close fight
me: ahaha
and then?
urameshiikokushi: when i won i wanted jump up an scream
urameshiikokushi: yeaaaaaaaaa ni*****eeerrr <= note: (I don't care for censoring but... just feels wrong to have that there. Shrug.)
urameshiikokushi: but i controlled myself
img
omg
i couldve died that night
rofl
1:12 PM
me: omg i'm blogging this
urameshiikokushi: he was gigantic
leave my name out of it
me: lololol
urameshiikokushi: what if that black guy happens to read ur blog
omg
urameshiikokushi: he would cleanse my colon with his anaconda penis
me: HAHAHAHA
And you can see the perfect package of vulgar, perverted, racist gamer.
Though seemingly primitive and immature and whatever else you want to call it - I must say... these people are the best shit talkers ever. Ever. Their sole goal: to make you angry. I mean - the majority of these guys have got to be under weight, average joe guys who would probably get their heads knocked off. But with the protection of a monitor, internet connection and in-game alias - the mouths keep runnin' (and everyone i mean EVERYONE talks about everyone's mom).
And I've noticed a certain classifcation and style that these geeks decide to use.
The most popular:
Racist spammer.
I believe the strongest characteristic is the constant abuse of the word: ni**er. Seriously, the word just gets thrown around. To be honest, I really believe that it's because gaming geeks assume that black people don't play games like WoW and DotA. Stereotypically, anyway. Aside from the racist part this is the guy who says:
Racist spammer123: You fcking suck you ni**er.
Me: Dude, chill out.
Racist spammer123: lol why you mad?
Racist spammer123: lol you mad?
Racist spammer123: YOU MAD?!
Racist spammer123: LOL YOU MAD?!
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM
Racist spammer123: -spam- RACISM
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM AND RACISM
Racist spammer123: -spam- I SEX THEM
Racist spammer123: -spam- GAY GAY GAY
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM RACISM GAY
etc. etc.
Words definitely lose their meaning within the gaming world. When someone arises as victorious it used to be just:
cockywinner212: OWNED. OWNED. PWNED. (another form of owned)
but now it's -
cockywinner212: RAPED. RAPED YOUR ASS. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAPE.
Yes, you can 'be rape'.
Then you have your typical smartass - who usually gets into contention with the spammer. Such scenario goes as this:
Racist spammer123: Omg player 5 you fckin suck so much just die
Obviously asian name: stfu you're terribad too
Racist spammer123: Fckin' gooks. Go fck a dog chink.
Obviously asian name: Please don't call your mom a dog.
Me: lol
Lol - these guys are either really funny or really lame.
And then you have that idiot geek like...you're just wtf? why would ever say that. And this guy always runs into the most inappriopriate person ever.
omginappropriate5: idiotgeek666 you're so fckin bad go die
idiotgeek666: stfu, kid (note: people use the word 'kid' to belittle others....it never works)
omginappropriate5: lol kid - you're still a virgin I bet. I'm here fcking your mom.
idiotgeek6: my mom's dead.
me: wtf?
WTF? why would you say that?!?!?! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? and then...
omginappropriate5: Yeah you're right - but i'm still here fcking her still.
omgggggggg - ONLY because you will never be able to put a face to the name.
I will close with a quote straight from the subject:
Me: Writing about gaming geeks like you
urameshiikokushi: i think im on the extreme side tho
like i dry humped my friend when i got first place in a tourney
honestly.... typical. Revenge of the nerds anyone?
I guess not really a post I want out after hiatus but - w/e.
omg -edit- This is literally write after I posted:
Urameshiikokushi: i am quite possibly
the best sf4 player
ever
me: tell that to the china town guys who kicked ur ass
Urameshiikokushi: dude
i was just being modest
i beat justin wong(really famous gamer) so bad
he pulled his pants down
and bent over
and said
do what you will
mastuhhh
tru story
-edit x2-
Urameshiikokushi: i hope your blog dies now
and any personal attacks made on me on the comment
i will respond
with my gaming geek tendencies
Urameshiikokushi: and i will do so in the most vulgar manner possible
dead babies
scat
incest
animal sex
etc etc
I WILL INCLUDE IT ALL IN ONE MASSIVE DIATRIBE
?!
But finally - what I've learned about Gaming Geeks. This post is pretty vulgar and offensive but pretty interesting cause you'll only see it if you play games.
This population of people is....
the most VULGAR, most RACIST, most PERVERTED group of people you will ever meet. Ever. And yet why does this all go unnoticed?!
That'll take us into their HABITAT.
These guys are often referred to as the "Keyboard Warriors". They'll talk smack all day, as long as their behind a computer screen. When it's in person it's a totally different story. Perfect example of a friend of mine:
1:11 PM
urameshiikokushi:dude i beat this one HUGE black bitch at this one tournament
it was such a close fight
me: ahaha
and then?
urameshiikokushi: when i won i wanted jump up an scream
urameshiikokushi: yeaaaaaaaaa ni*****eeerrr <= note: (I don't care for censoring but... just feels wrong to have that there. Shrug.)
urameshiikokushi: but i controlled myself
img
omg
i couldve died that night
rofl
1:12 PM
me: omg i'm blogging this
urameshiikokushi: he was gigantic
leave my name out of it
me: lololol
urameshiikokushi: what if that black guy happens to read ur blog
omg
urameshiikokushi: he would cleanse my colon with his anaconda penis
me: HAHAHAHA
And you can see the perfect package of vulgar, perverted, racist gamer.
Though seemingly primitive and immature and whatever else you want to call it - I must say... these people are the best shit talkers ever. Ever. Their sole goal: to make you angry. I mean - the majority of these guys have got to be under weight, average joe guys who would probably get their heads knocked off. But with the protection of a monitor, internet connection and in-game alias - the mouths keep runnin' (and everyone i mean EVERYONE talks about everyone's mom).
And I've noticed a certain classifcation and style that these geeks decide to use.
The most popular:
Racist spammer.
I believe the strongest characteristic is the constant abuse of the word: ni**er. Seriously, the word just gets thrown around. To be honest, I really believe that it's because gaming geeks assume that black people don't play games like WoW and DotA. Stereotypically, anyway. Aside from the racist part this is the guy who says:
Racist spammer123: You fcking suck you ni**er.
Me: Dude, chill out.
Racist spammer123: lol why you mad?
Racist spammer123: lol you mad?
Racist spammer123: YOU MAD?!
Racist spammer123: LOL YOU MAD?!
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM
Racist spammer123: -spam- RACISM
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM AND RACISM
Racist spammer123: -spam- I SEX THEM
Racist spammer123: -spam- GAY GAY GAY
Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM RACISM GAY
etc. etc.
Words definitely lose their meaning within the gaming world. When someone arises as victorious it used to be just:
cockywinner212: OWNED. OWNED. PWNED. (another form of owned)
but now it's -
cockywinner212: RAPED. RAPED YOUR ASS. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAPE.
Yes, you can 'be rape'.
Then you have your typical smartass - who usually gets into contention with the spammer. Such scenario goes as this:
Racist spammer123: Omg player 5 you fckin suck so much just die
Obviously asian name: stfu you're terribad too
Racist spammer123: Fckin' gooks. Go fck a dog chink.
Obviously asian name: Please don't call your mom a dog.
Me: lol
Lol - these guys are either really funny or really lame.
And then you have that idiot geek like...you're just wtf? why would ever say that. And this guy always runs into the most inappriopriate person ever.
omginappropriate5: idiotgeek666 you're so fckin bad go die
idiotgeek666: stfu, kid (note: people use the word 'kid' to belittle others....it never works)
omginappropriate5: lol kid - you're still a virgin I bet. I'm here fcking your mom.
idiotgeek6: my mom's dead.
me: wtf?
WTF? why would you say that?!?!?! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? and then...
omginappropriate5: Yeah you're right - but i'm still here fcking her still.
omgggggggg - ONLY because you will never be able to put a face to the name.
I will close with a quote straight from the subject:
Me: Writing about gaming geeks like you
urameshiikokushi: i think im on the extreme side tho
like i dry humped my friend when i got first place in a tourney
honestly.... typical. Revenge of the nerds anyone?
I guess not really a post I want out after hiatus but - w/e.
omg -edit- This is literally write after I posted:
Urameshiikokushi: i am quite possibly
the best sf4 player
ever
me: tell that to the china town guys who kicked ur ass
Urameshiikokushi: dude
i was just being modest
i beat justin wong(really famous gamer) so bad
he pulled his pants down
and bent over
and said
do what you will
mastuhhh
tru story
-edit x2-
Urameshiikokushi: i hope your blog dies now
and any personal attacks made on me on the comment
i will respond
with my gaming geek tendencies
Urameshiikokushi: and i will do so in the most vulgar manner possible
dead babies
scat
incest
animal sex
etc etc
I WILL INCLUDE IT ALL IN ONE MASSIVE DIATRIBE
?!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
SOYBEAN RAGE and LAZY DANCING LEAF
So I said I'd talk about geeks again - I lied. Next time. This is more urgent.
There's been this INFESTATION of bugs lately on campus. I hear it's across the nation - but I could be wrong. I mean - I don't really mind bugs. If I see one I'll kill it and that's that. But I'll tell ya, bugs really know the power of numbers.
So what's been infesting us lately is these guys:
Soybean Aphids
They're about the size of half my eyelash and I'm pretty sure they die if you blow on them. Fragile little buggers. BUT THEY KNOW NO FEAR. They just fly around and land on you - and stay there til you kill em. From class to class I'd say I'll have 14 or 15 on my arms/clothes. Seriously lookin around on campus when the sun is setting it looks like there's flurries everywhere there's so many freaking bugs. But I was learning to deal y'know and this wasn't really much.
Today - I was walking towards the quad across Goodwin Ave. where the hedges line up near the buildings along the bike paths/street. And I saw this weird leaf dancing lazily (Yes, lazily) in the wind stuck to the hedge and I thought it as pretty cool so I went to look at it. (I really need a digital camera...UGH but I must say my MS PAINT skills are top notch)
Please note the wind marks as I thought the wind was making it dance.
So I literally wtf'd? and walk over to get a closer look and 10ft away I'm like whoa this leaf is crazy looking!
So obviously I wanna get a good look at this thing and maybe take it or something. SO... I went to go look real close and I see:
:ISUDFG:ISUDFGIUDSSDKJFBVSJH - I'M LOOKING AT FCKIN' APHIDS STUCK TO A SPIDER WEB. YOU KNOW WHY?! CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY DAMN SOYBEAN APHIDS RAGING AROUND THEY ALL GOT STUCK TO A SPIDER WEB AND IT TINTED THE WEB GREEN. AND THEY'RE ALL JUST TRYING TO MOVE SO IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE A LAZY DANCING LEAF.
Geeks next time.
There's been this INFESTATION of bugs lately on campus. I hear it's across the nation - but I could be wrong. I mean - I don't really mind bugs. If I see one I'll kill it and that's that. But I'll tell ya, bugs really know the power of numbers.
So what's been infesting us lately is these guys:
Soybean Aphids
They're about the size of half my eyelash and I'm pretty sure they die if you blow on them. Fragile little buggers. BUT THEY KNOW NO FEAR. They just fly around and land on you - and stay there til you kill em. From class to class I'd say I'll have 14 or 15 on my arms/clothes. Seriously lookin around on campus when the sun is setting it looks like there's flurries everywhere there's so many freaking bugs. But I was learning to deal y'know and this wasn't really much.
Today - I was walking towards the quad across Goodwin Ave. where the hedges line up near the buildings along the bike paths/street. And I saw this weird leaf dancing lazily (Yes, lazily) in the wind stuck to the hedge and I thought it as pretty cool so I went to look at it. (I really need a digital camera...UGH but I must say my MS PAINT skills are top notch)
Please note the wind marks as I thought the wind was making it dance.
So I literally wtf'd? and walk over to get a closer look and 10ft away I'm like whoa this leaf is crazy looking!
So obviously I wanna get a good look at this thing and maybe take it or something. SO... I went to go look real close and I see:
:ISUDFG:ISUDFGIUDSSDKJFBVSJH - I'M LOOKING AT FCKIN' APHIDS STUCK TO A SPIDER WEB. YOU KNOW WHY?! CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY DAMN SOYBEAN APHIDS RAGING AROUND THEY ALL GOT STUCK TO A SPIDER WEB AND IT TINTED THE WEB GREEN. AND THEY'RE ALL JUST TRYING TO MOVE SO IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE A LAZY DANCING LEAF.
Geeks next time.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Geeks part 1: Geek Lovers
It's been a hectic week - I haven't had much motivation to post cause it was actually kind of depressing. A couple of people I've known died... won't get into details cause that'll totally kill my mood and the blog's mood. Patrick Swayze died too. I did my dirty dance in his memory.
What I've been wanting to post about is this influx of geek lovers and of course about geeks. And I'm not talking about people that just love nerds. But those hot actresses (No one in particular I'll keep it generic) that interview for w/e magazine and what not after they play some sort of comic book hero and usually their interview goes something like:
Macksim: So how do you feel about the majority of your fan base from the movie being hardcore comic book fans and in a sense - geeks?
Migan Phocks: Omg, I LOVE geeks. Something about them is hot. I grew up as a comic book fan so I totally love them.
Liar.
LIAR!
Hotness, you're telling me you love pasty skinned skinny men who go to Anime conventions dressed up as Naruto? Or the geeks who run around with the foam weapons and armor and go medieval on each other? (I really wanna try it though lol) Please. That's just like this scenario flying:
Geek: Hey girl, how are ya?
Hotness: Um, hello...
Geek: I just wanted to mention that my World of Warcraft character is lvl 80 and fully epic equipped.
Hotness: Omg, that's so hot.
Geek: I'm also the leader of my guild and handle all nightly 5 hr dungeon raids.
Hotness: That's so sexy - are you gonna buy me a drink or what?
Geek: Did I mention I'm a (whisper in ear) druuuuidddd~
Hotness: Oh~ I'm so hot for you~
Geek: Do you want me to channel my upgraded Tranquility or should I just cast Wildgrowth rank 3 and we get out of here?
Hotness: OMG TAKE ME NOW
Never happen.
And for visual sake here is a druid:
And here is a girl that does not exist:
And if I am wrong, please tell me where these women are. Sigh - I too am guilty of playing various computer games (WoW, Dota, etc.etc.) But hey - I did learn something about geek gamers - which I'll leave to part II of this cause I'm lazy. =D
What I've been wanting to post about is this influx of geek lovers and of course about geeks. And I'm not talking about people that just love nerds. But those hot actresses (No one in particular I'll keep it generic) that interview for w/e magazine and what not after they play some sort of comic book hero and usually their interview goes something like:
Macksim: So how do you feel about the majority of your fan base from the movie being hardcore comic book fans and in a sense - geeks?
Migan Phocks: Omg, I LOVE geeks. Something about them is hot. I grew up as a comic book fan so I totally love them.
Liar.
LIAR!
Liar!!!!
Hotness, you're telling me you love pasty skinned skinny men who go to Anime conventions dressed up as Naruto? Or the geeks who run around with the foam weapons and armor and go medieval on each other? (I really wanna try it though lol) Please. That's just like this scenario flying:
Geek: Hey girl, how are ya?
Hotness: Um, hello...
Geek: I just wanted to mention that my World of Warcraft character is lvl 80 and fully epic equipped.
Hotness: Omg, that's so hot.
Geek: I'm also the leader of my guild and handle all nightly 5 hr dungeon raids.
Hotness: That's so sexy - are you gonna buy me a drink or what?
Geek: Did I mention I'm a (whisper in ear) druuuuidddd~
Hotness: Oh~ I'm so hot for you~
Geek: Do you want me to channel my upgraded Tranquility or should I just cast Wildgrowth rank 3 and we get out of here?
Hotness: OMG TAKE ME NOW
Never happen.
And for visual sake here is a druid:
And here is a girl that does not exist:
And if I am wrong, please tell me where these women are. Sigh - I too am guilty of playing various computer games (WoW, Dota, etc.etc.) But hey - I did learn something about geek gamers - which I'll leave to part II of this cause I'm lazy. =D
Monday, September 07, 2009
Underwear Tangent
Yeah - I've been really lazy to post lately but I do have an interesting topic I want to discuss in my next one. But for now...
So my mom sends me these packages - usually socks under wear and what not cause I always lose some here and there when I go home and back to campus. This has been going on ever since my freshmen year in college.
Now my mom used to just send me boxers. And then I'd say 2 or 3 years later she started sending boxer briefs which is all dandy they're really comfortable =P.
But in this year's first package she sent me some crazy ass underwear.......
I mean to elaborate - this underwear is kind of intimidating. I feel like they belong to a Calvin Klein model or a porn star. He-Man and Conan type of undwear. Thick waist band and all.
I dunno how I feel about this. But for some odd reason the one thing I do feel strongly about is that I gotta tan my thighs before I can wear 'em.
But thanks Mom - I will rise to the challenge.
Quick edit: Someone asked me if I thought about putting them on my head.
Yes. I have. And since they're black and grey it looks like a ninja mask.
So my mom sends me these packages - usually socks under wear and what not cause I always lose some here and there when I go home and back to campus. This has been going on ever since my freshmen year in college.
Now my mom used to just send me boxers. And then I'd say 2 or 3 years later she started sending boxer briefs which is all dandy they're really comfortable =P.
But in this year's first package she sent me some crazy ass underwear.......
I mean to elaborate - this underwear is kind of intimidating. I feel like they belong to a Calvin Klein model or a porn star. He-Man and Conan type of undwear. Thick waist band and all.
I dunno how I feel about this. But for some odd reason the one thing I do feel strongly about is that I gotta tan my thighs before I can wear 'em.
But thanks Mom - I will rise to the challenge.
Quick edit: Someone asked me if I thought about putting them on my head.
Yes. I have. And since they're black and grey it looks like a ninja mask.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Some of the Worst
So the first week of being back on campus is over - pretty busy week now that I think about it. I realize I'm really good at geting myself into sticky situations. On Wednesday? I called my mom to let her know that all is well and I was high spirits so I stuck one of these in: "Umma - Noh loh wah~" (Mumsy - come here and play sometime/visit~) as a joke.... and of course she took it seriously. So I get a phone call from my dad later:
Me: Hello?
Dad: Hey, boy.
Me: Hi, dad.
Dad: So we should visit you huh?
Me: Huh?
Dad: I have to go somewhere the 24th of September, I need to know what's good for you.
Me: Uh...Well....The thing is -
Dad: So when's good for you?
Me: Well, y'know I don't really know my schedule TOTALLY so I'll have to figure tha -
Dad: Ok, Ok. I understand that. I know that. So when's good time to visit? We need to know these kinds of things to buy ticket early!
Mom: ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING!?
Me: Huh?!
Mom: If you have something to confess to me tell me!
Dad & Mom: Blah blah blah (basically telling my mom to hang up but she wants to listen in)
Me: ....
Dad: Are you hiding something?
So I had to lay it on them that September just wasn't a good time (it isn't) since I was so busy doing all these activities. They always ask me "Are you hiding something?." If they knew I was a dealing drugs and getting high they'd still ask "Are you hiding something?" Never ask for something specific - just a broad question to see if I'll cave. Geez.
Anyway - I wanted to talk about what I think is "Some of the Worst". I hope to do a bunch of these cause there's just a lot of garbage on the internet. So I would like to share with you:
SHAKIRA MV - SHE WOLF.
I have taken it upon myself to study and disect this music video. So please read my notes and watch each section carefully or whatever else works for you. Be prepared for some really bad....stuff.
I timed it to this version of the video but they won't let me embed. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s
0:28 - Ok, I can see why some people would think what she's wearing is hot - But WHY is she in some sort of gemmed large intestine - and walking like a zombie?
0:31/32ish - ...She just gagged herself. And she is now proceeding to do some sort of cracked out version of the robot
0:41 - Crotch shot #1 skin colored tights now
0:42 - ...still holding that pose
0:45 - I dunno... cracked out body wave thing...it looks hard
0:53 - Crotch shot #2
0:56 - Weird dancing begins
1:00 - Crotch shot #3
1:12-1:14 - Lol - best move ever
1:34 - Please note the "Ahhh wooooo" howl in the music
2:09 - Crotch shot #4
2:13 - Lol wtf is she doing in the cage
2:26 - Lol same as above
2:45 - Body spasms
2:49 - 3:03 - The shoulder dance begins you have to watch this through... I don't understand why the director of this video showed it for so long
3:17/18 - Wtf. Random cage pose rofl
3:18 - 22ish - Tribal dance tribute
The lyrics are pretty ridiculous as well - you can look 'em up on your own.
Enjoy some of the worst =D
Me: Hello?
Dad: Hey, boy.
Me: Hi, dad.
Dad: So we should visit you huh?
Me: Huh?
Dad: I have to go somewhere the 24th of September, I need to know what's good for you.
Me: Uh...Well....The thing is -
Dad: So when's good for you?
Me: Well, y'know I don't really know my schedule TOTALLY so I'll have to figure tha -
Dad: Ok, Ok. I understand that. I know that. So when's good time to visit? We need to know these kinds of things to buy ticket early!
Mom: ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING!?
Me: Huh?!
Mom: If you have something to confess to me tell me!
Dad & Mom: Blah blah blah (basically telling my mom to hang up but she wants to listen in)
Me: ....
Dad: Are you hiding something?
So I had to lay it on them that September just wasn't a good time (it isn't) since I was so busy doing all these activities. They always ask me "Are you hiding something?." If they knew I was a dealing drugs and getting high they'd still ask "Are you hiding something?" Never ask for something specific - just a broad question to see if I'll cave. Geez.
Anyway - I wanted to talk about what I think is "Some of the Worst". I hope to do a bunch of these cause there's just a lot of garbage on the internet. So I would like to share with you:
SHAKIRA MV - SHE WOLF.
I have taken it upon myself to study and disect this music video. So please read my notes and watch each section carefully or whatever else works for you. Be prepared for some really bad....stuff.
I timed it to this version of the video but they won't let me embed. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s
0:28 - Ok, I can see why some people would think what she's wearing is hot - But WHY is she in some sort of gemmed large intestine - and walking like a zombie?
0:31/32ish - ...She just gagged herself. And she is now proceeding to do some sort of cracked out version of the robot
0:41 - Crotch shot #1 skin colored tights now
0:42 - ...still holding that pose
0:45 - I dunno... cracked out body wave thing...it looks hard
0:53 - Crotch shot #2
0:56 - Weird dancing begins
1:00 - Crotch shot #3
1:12-1:14 - Lol - best move ever
1:34 - Please note the "Ahhh wooooo" howl in the music
2:09 - Crotch shot #4
2:13 - Lol wtf is she doing in the cage
2:26 - Lol same as above
2:45 - Body spasms
2:49 - 3:03 - The shoulder dance begins you have to watch this through... I don't understand why the director of this video showed it for so long
3:17/18 - Wtf. Random cage pose rofl
3:18 - 22ish - Tribal dance tribute
The lyrics are pretty ridiculous as well - you can look 'em up on your own.
Enjoy some of the worst =D
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