MLK Catch 22

A quickie:

2010's MLK day was not a good day for me. Woke up with what I believe to be food poisoning. Basically woke up with a huge headache, then realized I had to throw up, then as I was trying to throw up realized I had to poop.

That crap always happens to me. When I have to puke, I have to poop. My body puts the two hand in hand. It's actually a huge dilemma cause if I drop a load I don't want to stick my face into the toilet fulla feces and throw up y'know? It's not even the feces - course I'd flush. I hate the idea of 'fecal matter'. Fecal matter just sounds disgusting. It's also everywhere which is double gross. Fecal matter. *Shiver. Almost as bad as period blood. *Shiver. Ugh I just grossed myself out.

Logically - you puke first, then #2 y'know? Face is out of toilet and it's all good. but it's so hard cause your body contorts all those random muscles to puke. Seriously puking is an ab work out for me. Abs are always sore when I'm done... and also so firm and so nice HAR!! Am I the only one? But then when you poo first and you're pushing and you're all nauseous and hyper sensitive to the stench... just makes you wanna puke!


One time I REALLY had to deuce and I thought I could hold my puke but I couldn't so I thought it'd be smart to lean over while still on the toilet and puke into my bathtub. Body is happy and face isn't shoved into bowl full of feces. Win/win!...


Never puke into your bathtub.



Time to sleep - I'm in my last semester of college. I kinda took two years off from school kinda so I've been here for a while. An ex-girlfriend called me Van Wilder. Like "you're my van wilder". Lol wtf. I laughed but I got mad inside haha. VAN WILDER NO MORE.