Amidst all the holidays that are going on of course there are holidays sales. I went to the mall today with my fam and HOLY CRAP IT WAS PACKED. I feel like Garden State Plaza (the mall I went to) is becoming sort of a tourist spot cause there is no clothing tax in Jersey so everyone takes their friends from out of state there.
But geez traffic was insane I definitely feel that east coast drivers are much angrier than midwest ones. So we're driving and this lady's trying to get in but my dad's not letting her and she's in the way of this other lady so everyone's mouthing curse at each other (well pop's was screaming em and they probably were too but they can't hear) and I thought to myself "Man, people gotta calm down it's the holidays."
I made eye contact with the raging fat lady in the Ford focus trying to get in (it's kinda weird every time I try to recall how an angry fat white lady looks I just imagine Rosie O'Donnell lol) and I give her a curt smile and a short wave (I am sitting shotgun). I definitely feel this sign is very powerful. I'm going to elaborate on this move in the future... it's pretty interesting. Fat lady did the arms up in the air and head back "UGH... sigh" type of thing. She stopped having a tantrum and we went on our way and everyone is kinda sorta happy.
So in short... use the wave. It's the holidays man.
When I was younger I used to hate coming home from school due to the fact that I had become sick of the surroundings and tired of not being able to do whatever the hell I want without some sort of criticism (from mom and pop mostly).
Lol - maybe it's cause I have two roommates now but I freakin' love home. Here are a couple things that have recently made home pretty awesome:
My relatives like to get trashed on holidays -
I got really drunk at Thanksgiving family gathering...My cousins really like to bring on the drinks - so hard to say no when they tell you how expensive it is and how they're just FREELY giving. I THINK I hid it pretty well... someone commented that I was able to hold my drink well... and then this conversation ensued with my dad:
Dad: Hey, can you drive home? Me: Dad... I'll be honest, if I drive we gonna die. (I spoke ghetto speak to him) Dad: Alright. (Lies down and passes out) Me: What're you doing? Dad: I have to sleep a little (to sober up)
Patty don't tell dad I put this here. My mom and sister are a big part too. My sister's 30 years old and when we're together we both become 12 and 10 (obviously me being the slightly more mature).
I live in a great neighborhood with LOTS of great Asian food. In my area it is actually Korean fried chicken that is the fried chicken of choice!!!!
And on the topic of food, you won't find managers as demographically savvy as the ones in our area! Take WENDY'S for instance.
Ahh yes there she is - pale as a ghost.
There is a particular WENDY's at a mall in an area that is demographically minorities. Obviously the manager was smart enough to appeal to them! The mall decided to open up a store featuring Wendy's distant cousin Wakeisha.
Me pointing @ it.. I'm thinkin mom's sister had a thing for the dark skinned man.
Ugh! Sorry for another delay - right when I got back to school I found out I was swamped with work lol.
Anyhoo - first thing's first.
I wrote about my experience @ the airport - but then ON the plane... My seatmate was totally trashed outta his mind, it was pretty ridiculous. When drink's were offered he ordered a gin and tonic and then began to talk to me about iPods. He said:
"So my iPod...I can shake it like this *shake shake* and it'll shuffle the song. See? *shake shake* Wait, wtf... it's not shuffling." *shake shake* wtf? *shake shake shake shake shake shake shake THROW* And he THREW it down on the ground. And I looked at him and he looked at me and smiled and said, "Heh I bet it shuffled then." lol
After that he passed out... on my shoulder. I had window seat and I was leaning AWAY from him on the window and he was all over me...big burly 200 pound drunk guy. Cute.
I've been prompted with this a lot nowadays cause I really wanna do some sort of video blog.... but what do you think is a formula for a hit series youtube account? Kevjumba is apparently the #1 most subscribed Youtuber.... even Jessica Alba responds to his videos.... but I honestly don't think he's that funny! And there's this guy "Fred"... he gets millions of view per video and his stuff is absolute garbage. Like, I get angry thinking about the people who enjoy his stuff and think that they are the reason this world is going into the gutter... seriously that bad. Every episode deserves to be hated on - such garbage i hate him.
But one girl... Michelle Phan has found this formula to get tons of hits. What she does is teaches different make up things. I mean it's clever - and she's successful. But there was one episode that I came across... it has earned its place on THE WORST. Basically this video is to learn how to do make up and dress up like "Sailor Moon".
I have a couple notes for you to read as you watch... you can skip the whole make up thing and go to the end.
(Lol someone commented: "I will never look at the moon ever again cause of you." lolol)
So skipping to 7:40...
7:40 - Finished product... she doesn't look remotely like sailor moon. She looks like a prostitute. 7:52 - Talking about Luna? "SO CUTE!" and then she goes into talking about her monkey... from family guy wtf. 8:13 - "HER MESSAGE BEGINS" OMG listen to this pile of crap. 8:18 - lolol good camera man... zooms in to cover her butt. the wind blows her skirt up as she posing lololol 8:22 - Make up is similar to a superhero costume wtf? No duh you feel more confident your face looks totally different. 8:30 - It's your "alter-ego" (caption says POWER) 8:38 - Every girl has a sailor moon in her with dreams blah blah blah held back blah blah blah 'waiting for someone to accept you for who you are' so put on your fake face. Make yourself look like a whore, boys will like you.
Ugh I thought i could do it but the rest is too cheesy to write about. I agree. I will never look at the moon the same. Cut the self help stick with make up toots.
I had a flight to Chicago with a layover in Boston...
Flight to Boston got cancelled got on the next one 3 hrs later. Land - missed my original flight to Chicago - next flight to Chicago has a broken fckin plane. Nice. AA stinks. Last time I flying it...
I was supposed to arrive at my apartment around 8pm. Now I'll be in around 1am.
It's ok... I have internet here. Boston sucks, even though the airport is nice I just don't like Boston. Boston makes me think bad things. I think being in BOSTON just makes the delay worse. Bleh.
So there's this couple sitting across from me - I'd say a new couple about to get married, early 30's late 20's. They keep scowling and scoffing at this baby that's upset. I am secretly wishing that their baby screeches like a banshee.
There was a kid to my left (Ugh, I need a camera!) with his family. Totally nice family cute dog... but the kid (about 7, 8?) had this long ass ponytail and a thick ass neon pink game? book. I couldn't stop thinking of all the homosexual possibilities that waited for this boy.
Just like this one. So gay. (This picture was titled "Chinese Ponytail" lol)
There's this girl sitting to my right - I have no idea what school she goes to I'm assuming it's something around here and she won't stfu about how she's going to Geneva for a 2 year program for interpretation for English, Spanish - and French. "You can't leave out that it's for French too." Se taire! (shuttup? I think) "Geneva's a REALLY good school for it. And then, I can work at the UN and what not." I hate her, and then she asked me to watch her stuff. But I secretly wasn't watching it, I was typing crap about her while no one watched her bag.
Lol. I feel better now. Gonna order a fat CALZONE right when I get back.
So - I was on my way home from studying at around 3am getting dropped off by my friend Clarisa. She stopped in front of my building to drop me off and then we see this little dog just SKITTER across. It wasn't fast like a roach - but I used skittered cause it was so weak that's what it looked like it was doing (and mind you it was COLD and RAINY).
After a little bit of coaxing the dog and convincing ourselves it is our duty to take this dog in....we take it into my place - dry him off and realize he smells like asshole. I also did not know this would consume 6 hrs from thence
For lack of a better word cause he really smelled like asshole. So I decided to shampoo him a lil bit - and I know shampoo is bad for dogs for some reason but he really did smell like the butthole of a cow/horse.
Even then his smell lingered and he was still shivering so we wrapped him in some dry towels and I tried to feed him a hot dog.
Bad idea.
He threw up the hotdog and omg it smelled even worse and he just kept puking a lil bit by bit. SO next best thing - I fed him Honey Nut Cheerios lol. The reasoning that it's KIND of like dog food... And he ate it like a BEAST - literally like 3 bowls.
Here is post feeding:
I tried to lock him in my bathroom so I could get some work done but he would not let this be a half assed save - this was a full time job. (Hence he was given the name 'Prince Baby' cause when left alone he cried - he needed to be pampered ALL NIGHT.)
As you can see :
Lovin' the attention
Prince Baby did not know how to do anything like sit, shake, stay, roll, or play with a ball - but he was extremely loyal. I think he recognized that his life was saved that night cause when we took him out for a walk (TWICE) to poo he followed us around no problem without a leash. I was so convinced he would poop after eating all those cheerios... I mean that's so much fiber. But nothing! I took him to shrub after shrub and then to a lamp post and then a fire hydrant....no poop. This gave me some dissatisfaction the first time - I almost felt constipated - so we tried again but no poop. Whenever I would walk from spot to spot he would frolic in between my legs...so cute!
I was scared he was sick I wouldn't have been able to take good care of him so I sent him to the Humane Society. I no longer have Prince Baby and I really do miss him... But I got some good videos!
Here is the Prince snoozing. He would only sleep when we were with him....
Here's me trying to teach the Prince how to dance in my bathroom:
Honestly - I've never seen a dog with its kahones before - they're always neutered!
I know I know - another long break, I've been sick.
Straight to business.
My school uses a method of keeping attendance and participation in large classrooms via a mechanism called an iClicker.
This stupid thing is definitely not Apple affiliated - I have no idea why it's 'iClicker'. The dreaded things are 30$!!!!!! And VERY elusive...I've lost a couple =T Don't yell at me, Patty.
So basically you register your school ID to it and when you click in Answers (A-E) it registers that to this receiver the teacher has. SO - you can imagine during a Powerpoint the teacher posts up a question and people are busy clicking away while a timer counts down (usually 30 seconds). When this timer is finished your answer will no longer register. When it registers you get a green light, when it doesn't you get a red.
You can change your answer all you like - the last answer you put in is the one that will count.
SO! In my insurance class the teacher uses this method HEAVILY. I must admit that I'm not the best at these questions and it's a very common thing for people to look at other people and see what they're clicking. I mean c'mon - it doesn't hurt anyone it's just for participation points.
WELL, there's this one Chinese girl in my class (she's a fob and speaks obnoxiously loud) who seemed very confident about her answers so I had decided to take a peek at what she was clicking ( I was sitting directly behind her). I don't want to be shady so I'm pretty obvious about the fact that I'm looking.
So this particular question is multiple choice A-E. I was able to eliminate it to either A or B, so if I saw her click in anything else I would dismiss her and move on.
She clicked B. So naturally I thought "Sweet! B!" And clicked B. She then proceeded to click B once again with about 10 seconds left to go... fine. The count down is about to end.
9...
8...
7...
6...
5... Huh? She's still holding her clicker..
4...
3... She pressed B again K... (I did too just in case)
2...
1... QUICKLY AND CONFIDENTLY SHE PRESSES A
0!!!!!!! I tried to press A but my answer didn't register (I got the red light)
In total shock I look at her and she turns around and gives me this ugly UGLY UGLY "Heh." Kind of look. So smug - like really? So I sat back in my chair all discontented and angry as our teacher went over why the answer was the answer. WHO DOES THAT?!
AND THE ANSWER WAS B.
And then she began to blabber all high pitched and frilly to her friend in Chinese like wtf? kind of deal.
So, I slowly leaned forward near her head , smiled courteously and said....
I was at an event called FACT. Supposedly the biggest Filipino American conference where people come to perform dances, spoken word, sing.
There was one spoken word girl that talked about girls cat calling her and racist remarks and what not. Y'know throwing it down Def-Jam Poetry style. She definitely fit that stereotype of 'empowered' woman exposing man pigs. It was good stuff. Kinda angry... I guess due to subject matter. So she was that 'angry, empowered' woman.
The whole 'Empower the woman!' 'Women are beautiful' 'Strong Woman' thing is everywhere - and I'm not saying it's a bad thing at all. IT'S NOT A BAD THING.
IT'S NOT A BAD THING.
... IT'S A GOOD THING
But honestly, some women overstep their bounds for real. Definitely puts men in a position where they can't really do anything cause they become THAT man. Perverted, unfaithful, and sick man. Something like this (Happened at a bar):
*Man bumps into woman *They look at each other
Man: Sorry... *tries to walk away Woman: EXCUSE ME? Man: Huh Woman: What were you trying to cop a feel or something? Man: WHAT?! Woman: DON'T YELL AT ME! Man: HUH?! Woman: UM, YOU'RE LOOKING AT MY BOOBS?! *points at boobs,
Y'know what the reaction here is? TO LOOK AT THE BOOBS.
Man: *Quickly looks up* I WASN'T! Woman: OMG YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! PERVERT! Woman's Large, muscular, presumably semi drunk friend: What's wrong?
Poor guy... I only got to watch up til there but still... She was on the offensive and he just got smaller and smaller. And I believe that's the initial reaction of most guys. I mean yeah men can be perverted, ogle at women, some do try to slap/grab a tooshie. But there's always that girl who thinks they're ALL DOING IT TO HER. "Omg, he won't stop staring." "Omg, he keeps staring at my legs cause of my short, short skirt." "Ew he's looking at my cleavage."
If you're going to be like that - Don't wear the fckin skirt. And put on a sweatshirt. The reason you're so cold and nipply when you go out at night is cause it's WINTER. lol
I ran into one of these situations myself. And Asians are definitely stereotypically passive... BUT SHE PICKED THE WRONG ONE TO GIRL-POWER TRIP ON. Errr I mean - I do believe I handled the situation well.
I was at a bar texting a friend who was supposed to have drinks with me. I was standing in a rather crowded area and as I was texting a girl approached me with her disgusting looking errr I mean disgusted looking (hehe) friend.
Girl: Um, did you just take a picture of my friend? Me (Shock): No! I was texting! Accuser: UM I SAW you take a picture of me.
And my initially reaction was to go on the passive-defensive.
Me: Look! (I flip through my album, no picture of girls there) I didn't! Accuser: No, you DEFINITELY took a picture of me, creep!
And here I realized - "Wait, W-T-F." But you have to choose your words carefully. *edit* Seriously like INSULTED she would even THINK I would do that. Me: (Half smile, lean in, and very calmly) I would NEVER take a picture of someone who looks like you - So you don't have to worry 'bout it. K? (Pwn. Walk away.)
I did not establish any superiority over her - but stated and expressed my preference.
NOT YOU, UGLY!
*For the record - regardless of what the girl looked like - if she approached me like that my reaction would have been the same. A girl actin' like that is sucha HUGE turn off.
I am back from yet another busy week and hiatus from blogging - back in the spirit of Diwali! I have no idea what it is and what it's about cept that it's some sort of festival in Hinduism or something. I honestly just liked the name -_- - I just know it was today.
Yeah - pretty random...and going with that I have a couple random things.
-Arranged Marriage-
I wasn't really aware people still did it. Mostly Indian cause the only people I know that do it are Indian. My friend David was good friends with this guy and after a while the guy just disappeared, screened all of Dave's phone calls, and stopped communicating. Finally, the guy calls him back and -
David: Dude, wtf why haven't you got at me? Guy: Dude - I've been busy. I got married in Palestine. David: WTF? Is your wife hot? Guy: Hehe, yeah.
Holler. I guess that's a lot of faith in your folks to not pick an ugly - I mean c'mon - it's arranged so you're not gonna know their personality and blah blah blah, first encounter with your wifey is all looks.
There's this girl in my English class who likes to draw attention to herself and she is also getting an arranged marriage. She just complains and complains and people feel sorry for her -
Girl: UGH! I can't date anyone there's no point! I really wanna run away! Class girl: Yeah! Just do that! Girl: But it's really different when your whole family is just lined up telling you you have to marry this guy. It sucks so bad...He sent me all these engagement rings to pick from and I rejected them all. But by next week I'll be back with a 3 karot rock on my finger Me: (eye roll) Class girls: Awww. Class guy: You should sell it and use the money to run away! Girl: I'm just going to throw it out.
And this continued for like...10 minutes. So I decided to speak.
Class girl: Do you know what he looks like? Girl: No, no picture - I'm going to hate him I know it. Class girl: Awww I fee- Me: What if he's really hot? Girl: Huh? Me: What if he's smokin' Indian Brad Pitt man of your dreams hot?
And I wanted to say...but I didn't wanna get lynched: "I mean seriously - what if he's hot, smart, and pwntastic? And it's actually HIM who's stuck with YOU." lol I shoulda.
-Sharting-
It happens. It sucks. Especially with new fresh underwear on.
-Millionaire Bakers and their kids-
My friend Chris drives an Audi A4. Very nice car - and thus this conversation with his little brother's 11 yr old friend.
Brat: What car do you drive? Chris: ....an Audi A4 why? Brat: Do you not have money? Why do you drive that piece of crap? Chris: ....I have no other money for another car... Brat: I can see that. I have money. I got $30,000 from Hanukkah last year.
wtf?
Brat: I'm going to drive a lambo.
I like to see brats like that get hit by buses.
lol Jk. Kind of. And his dad is a baker for a lot of the big restaurants in NYC so he wakes up everyday at 4am, bakes a lotta bread and sells it to the restaurants. Anyone want to start a bakery?
-In Korea, tigers go "UNGGGGG!"-
Little kids like to pretend to be animals and play and what not. In America, a child being a tiger goes "raaaah!!" "Rawr!" "Roar!" "Growl!". In Korea - a Korean child being a tiger goes "UNGGG!!" "UngGG!!!" "UNNNNNNNNNNGGG!" Where the fck did we get that noise from?
And PLEASE note fearless ice cold baby stare in picture. Wtf? lol. Sigh - I'll try to update sooner next time.
I've been having a really rough couple of past weeks. Exams and what not.
But finally - what I've learned about Gaming Geeks. This post is pretty vulgar and offensive but pretty interesting cause you'll only see it if you play games.
This population of people is....
the most VULGAR, most RACIST, most PERVERTED group of people you will ever meet. Ever. And yet why does this all go unnoticed?!
That'll take us into their HABITAT.
These guys are often referred to as the "Keyboard Warriors". They'll talk smack all day, as long as their behind a computer screen. When it's in person it's a totally different story. Perfect example of a friend of mine:
1:11 PM urameshiikokushi:dude i beat this one HUGE black bitch at this one tournament it was such a close fight me: ahaha and then? urameshiikokushi: when i won i wanted jump up an scream urameshiikokushi: yeaaaaaaaaa ni*****eeerrr <= note: (I don't care for censoring but... just feels wrong to have that there. Shrug.) urameshiikokushi: but i controlled myself img omg i couldve died that night rofl 1:12 PM me: omg i'm blogging this urameshiikokushi: he was gigantic leave my name out of it me: lololol urameshiikokushi: what if that black guy happens to read ur blog omg urameshiikokushi: he would cleanse my colon with his anaconda penis me: HAHAHAHA
And you can see the perfect package of vulgar, perverted, racist gamer.
Though seemingly primitive and immature and whatever else you want to call it - I must say... these people are the best shit talkers ever. Ever. Their sole goal: to make you angry. I mean - the majority of these guys have got to be under weight, average joe guys who would probably get their heads knocked off. But with the protection of a monitor, internet connection and in-game alias - the mouths keep runnin' (and everyone i mean EVERYONE talks about everyone's mom).
And I've noticed a certain classifcation and style that these geeks decide to use.
The most popular:
Racist spammer.
I believe the strongest characteristic is the constant abuse of the word: ni**er. Seriously, the word just gets thrown around. To be honest, I really believe that it's because gaming geeks assume that black people don't play games like WoW and DotA. Stereotypically, anyway. Aside from the racist part this is the guy who says:
Racist spammer123: You fcking suck you ni**er. Me: Dude, chill out. Racist spammer123: lol why you mad? Racist spammer123: lol you mad? Racist spammer123: YOU MAD?! Racist spammer123: LOL YOU MAD?! Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM Racist spammer123: -spam- RACISM Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM AND RACISM Racist spammer123: -spam- I SEX THEM Racist spammer123: -spam- GAY GAY GAY Racist spammer123: -spam- YOUR MOM RACISM GAY
etc. etc. Words definitely lose their meaning within the gaming world. When someone arises as victorious it used to be just:
cockywinner212: OWNED. OWNED. PWNED. (another form of owned)
but now it's -
cockywinner212: RAPED. RAPED YOUR ASS. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAPE. Yes, you can 'be rape'.
Then you have your typical smartass - who usually gets into contention with the spammer. Such scenario goes as this:
Racist spammer123: Omg player 5 you fckin suck so much just die Obviously asian name: stfu you're terribad too Racist spammer123: Fckin' gooks. Go fck a dog chink. Obviously asian name: Please don't call your mom a dog. Me: lol
Lol - these guys are either really funny or really lame.
And then you have that idiot geek like...you're just wtf? why would ever say that. And this guy always runs into the most inappriopriate person ever.
omginappropriate5: idiotgeek666 you're so fckin bad go die idiotgeek666: stfu, kid (note: people use the word 'kid' to belittle others....it never works) omginappropriate5: lol kid - you're still a virgin I bet. I'm here fcking your mom. idiotgeek6: my mom's dead. me: wtf?
WTF? why would you say that?!?!?! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? and then...
omginappropriate5: Yeah you're right - but i'm still here fcking her still.
omgggggggg - ONLY because you will never be able to put a face to the name.
I will close with a quote straight from the subject:
Me: Writing about gaming geeks like you urameshiikokushi: i think im on the extreme side tho like i dry humped my friend when i got first place in a tourney
honestly.... typical. Revenge of the nerds anyone? I guess not really a post I want out after hiatus but - w/e.
omg -edit- This is literally write after I posted:
Urameshiikokushi: i am quite possibly the best sf4 player ever me: tell that to the china town guys who kicked ur ass Urameshiikokushi: dude i was just being modest i beat justin wong(really famous gamer) so bad he pulled his pants down and bent over and said do what you will mastuhhh tru story
-edit x2-
Urameshiikokushi: i hope your blog dies now and any personal attacks made on me on the comment i will respond with my gaming geek tendencies Urameshiikokushi: and i will do so in the most vulgar manner possible dead babies scat incest animal sex etc etc I WILL INCLUDE IT ALL IN ONE MASSIVE DIATRIBE
So I said I'd talk about geeks again - I lied. Next time. This is more urgent.
There's been this INFESTATION of bugs lately on campus. I hear it's across the nation - but I could be wrong. I mean - I don't really mind bugs. If I see one I'll kill it and that's that. But I'll tell ya, bugs really know the power of numbers.
So what's been infesting us lately is these guys:
Soybean Aphids
They're about the size of half my eyelash and I'm pretty sure they die if you blow on them. Fragile little buggers. BUT THEY KNOW NO FEAR. They just fly around and land on you - and stay there til you kill em. From class to class I'd say I'll have 14 or 15 on my arms/clothes. Seriously lookin around on campus when the sun is setting it looks like there's flurries everywhere there's so many freaking bugs. But I was learning to deal y'know and this wasn't really much.
Today - I was walking towards the quad across Goodwin Ave. where the hedges line up near the buildings along the bike paths/street. And I saw this weird leaf dancing lazily (Yes, lazily) in the wind stuck to the hedge and I thought it as pretty cool so I went to look at it. (I really need a digital camera...UGH but I must say my MS PAINT skills are top notch)
Please note the wind marks as I thought the wind was making it dance.
So I literally wtf'd? and walk over to get a closer look and 10ft away I'm like whoa this leaf is crazy looking!
So obviously I wanna get a good look at this thing and maybe take it or something. SO... I went to go look real close and I see:
:ISUDFG:ISUDFGIUDSSDKJFBVSJH - I'M LOOKING AT FCKIN' APHIDS STUCK TO A SPIDER WEB. YOU KNOW WHY?! CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY DAMN SOYBEAN APHIDS RAGING AROUND THEY ALL GOT STUCK TO A SPIDER WEB AND IT TINTED THE WEB GREEN. AND THEY'RE ALL JUST TRYING TO MOVE SO IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE A LAZY DANCING LEAF.
It's been a hectic week - I haven't had much motivation to post cause it was actually kind of depressing. A couple of people I've known died... won't get into details cause that'll totally kill my mood and the blog's mood. Patrick Swayze died too. I did my dirty dance in his memory.
What I've been wanting to post about is this influx of geek lovers and of course about geeks. And I'm not talking about people that just love nerds. But those hot actresses (No one in particular I'll keep it generic) that interview for w/e magazine and what not after they play some sort of comic book hero and usually their interview goes something like:
Macksim: So how do you feel about the majority of your fan base from the movie being hardcore comic book fans and in a sense - geeks? Migan Phocks: Omg, I LOVE geeks. Something about them is hot. I grew up as a comic book fan so I totally love them.
Liar.
LIAR!
Liar!!!!
Hotness, you're telling me you love pasty skinned skinny men who go to Anime conventions dressed up as Naruto? Or the geeks who run around with the foam weapons and armor and go medieval on each other? (I really wanna try it though lol) Please. That's just like this scenario flying:
Geek: Hey girl, how are ya? Hotness: Um, hello... Geek: I just wanted to mention that my World of Warcraft character is lvl 80 and fully epic equipped. Hotness: Omg, that's so hot. Geek: I'm also the leader of my guild and handle all nightly 5 hr dungeon raids. Hotness: That's so sexy - are you gonna buy me a drink or what? Geek: Did I mention I'm a (whisper in ear) druuuuidddd~ Hotness: Oh~ I'm so hot for you~ Geek: Do you want me to channel my upgraded Tranquility or should I just cast Wildgrowth rank 3 and we get out of here? Hotness: OMG TAKE ME NOW
Never happen. And for visual sake here is a druid:
And here is a girl that does not exist:
And if I am wrong, please tell me where these women are. Sigh - I too am guilty of playing various computer games (WoW, Dota, etc.etc.) But hey - I did learn something about geek gamers - which I'll leave to part II of this cause I'm lazy. =D
Yeah - I've been really lazy to post lately but I do have an interesting topic I want to discuss in my next one. But for now...
So my mom sends me these packages - usually socks under wear and what not cause I always lose some here and there when I go home and back to campus. This has been going on ever since my freshmen year in college.
Now my mom used to just send me boxers. And then I'd say 2 or 3 years later she started sending boxer briefs which is all dandy they're really comfortable =P.
But in this year's first package she sent me some crazy ass underwear.......
I mean to elaborate - this underwear is kind of intimidating. I feel like they belong to a Calvin Klein model or a porn star. He-Man and Conan type of undwear. Thick waist band and all.
I dunno how I feel about this. But for some odd reason the one thing I do feel strongly about is that I gotta tan my thighs before I can wear 'em.
But thanks Mom - I will rise to the challenge.
Quick edit: Someone asked me if I thought about putting them on my head.
Yes. I have. And since they're black and grey it looks like a ninja mask.
So the first week of being back on campus is over - pretty busy week now that I think about it. I realize I'm really good at geting myself into sticky situations. On Wednesday? I called my mom to let her know that all is well and I was high spirits so I stuck one of these in: "Umma - Noh loh wah~" (Mumsy - come here and play sometime/visit~) as a joke.... and of course she took it seriously. So I get a phone call from my dad later:
Me: Hello? Dad: Hey, boy. Me: Hi, dad. Dad: So we should visit you huh? Me: Huh? Dad: I have to go somewhere the 24th of September, I need to know what's good for you. Me: Uh...Well....The thing is - Dad: So when's good for you? Me: Well, y'know I don't really know my schedule TOTALLY so I'll have to figure tha - Dad: Ok, Ok. I understand that. I know that. So when's good time to visit? We need to know these kinds of things to buy ticket early! Mom: ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING!? Me: Huh?! Mom: If you have something to confess to me tell me! Dad & Mom: Blah blah blah (basically telling my mom to hang up but she wants to listen in) Me: .... Dad: Are you hiding something?
So I had to lay it on them that September just wasn't a good time (it isn't) since I was so busy doing all these activities. They always ask me "Are you hiding something?." If they knew I was a dealing drugs and getting high they'd still ask "Are you hiding something?" Never ask for something specific - just a broad question to see if I'll cave. Geez.
Anyway - I wanted to talk about what I think is "Some of the Worst". I hope to do a bunch of these cause there's just a lot of garbage on the internet. So I would like to share with you:
SHAKIRA MV - SHE WOLF.
I have taken it upon myself to study and disect this music video. So please read my notes and watch each section carefully or whatever else works for you. Be prepared for some really bad....stuff.
I timed it to this version of the video but they won't let me embed. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s
0:28 - Ok, I can see why some people would think what she's wearing is hot - But WHY is she in some sort of gemmed large intestine - and walking like a zombie?
0:31/32ish - ...She just gagged herself. And she is now proceeding to do some sort of cracked out version of the robot
0:41 - Crotch shot #1 skin colored tights now
0:42 - ...still holding that pose
0:45 - I dunno... cracked out body wave thing...it looks hard
0:53 - Crotch shot #2
0:56 - Weird dancing begins
1:00 - Crotch shot #3
1:12-1:14 - Lol - best move ever
1:34 - Please note the "Ahhh wooooo" howl in the music
2:09 - Crotch shot #4
2:13 - Lol wtf is she doing in the cage
2:26 - Lol same as above
2:45 - Body spasms
2:49 - 3:03 - The shoulder dance begins you have to watch this through... I don't understand why the director of this video showed it for so long
3:17/18 - Wtf. Random cage pose rofl
3:18 - 22ish - Tribal dance tribute
The lyrics are pretty ridiculous as well - you can look 'em up on your own.
I've been really busy as of late, wasn't able to blog cause I was busy preparing for a huge student performance for new comers to campus called "How to Survive". Should be good times.
Just a bunch of things that I've seen...
Anderson Silva vs Forrest Griffin (yeah I know old news)...geez what an embarassment. I don't want to post up the youtube link to the fight cause there's an ad on it but it's pretty brutal. First round KO - Silva literally throws a tantrum and taunts Griffin and then knocks him down, let's him get back up, and knocks him back down. Ouch.
Two great shows from a while back have come back for some news in my life:
Family Matters and...
Fresh Prince.
Now of these three.... there are two men that are looked up to: Uncle Carl, and Uncle Phil. I can recall many episodes when they would sit whoever down and give words of fatherly wisdom. Or words of GAY fatherly wisdom cause both of them are HOMOS in real life. Yes - Uncle Phil and Uncle Carl (I don't care for their real life names those might as well be their real life names) are homos. That really shocked me... kind of hurt me - felt a little betrayed. Nothing wrong with being a gay parent... just...they're not supposed to be? Lol I even read somewhere they were homo with each other? Oh boy.
I would've thought Urkel or Carlton was a homo... meh.
edit -
For those who didn't get the weird reference - I call Carl Winslow Uncle Carl to match Uncle Phil cause little Richie calls him that. =P
So I've been in Jersey for about a little more than a week. I must say I was really reluctant to come cause I hate jamming my stuff into a suitcase and going through the whole airport thing. The first thing I enjoyed was Ray's pizza. I've been getting sick of Chicago deep greasy crust - been craving big and thin (BBQ chicken and veggie mmmmmm) I think I've had it for 5 meals lol. I went karaoke-ing (karaoking?) twice...the karaoke bar we go to called "Duet" plays the actual instrumentals not the synthesized ones.......SO GOOD. If you're willing and able come along - no one does karaoke like we do ;) Good times good times.
I went to visit a college friend in Forest Hills (right offa Queens Blvd). I've definitely forgotten how driving in NYC is.
Nightmare.
Traffic was "clear" until a huge tour bus decided to get stuck. My mom's EZ pass for the bridge toll didn't work so I had to wait for an officer to come open it up for me...SO BAD. So many people shaking their head at me flipping me off and honking :( I'm not cut out for that kind of driving. Driving through Chicago even in rush hour does not compare. It's funny - it's like a different culture of road etiquette.
God willing I got there in one piece - we ate and went to see GI Joe.
Now, I knew what I was going to see that movie for. Fighting, guns, girls. Maybe girls with guns fighting (yes!)? And yeah for an action movie it was good, obviously it's not going to get high ratings (it was like 4-6 out of 10...I'm no critic) BUT WHAT MADE THE MOVIE A 10...
MY MAN FROM ALL IN (Korean drama)
Lee Byung Heon (sp)
He came out and was lookin' good in his ninja outfit slicing people up and then his mouth opened... and of course I held my breathe cause English with Korean accent is SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAD. Ugh like when Bi(Rain) was on MTV. I just wanted him to shuttup and die or keep dancing when he was talking. But it wasn't broke at all! Was definitely proud to see him in there - not everyone shares the same pride I do when I see a Korean entering into the mainstream movie arena... or any media for that matter - instead of being cooped up in dramas and romance movies that only Korean food markets distribute. It is most definitely a big deal! There's this random fight he just rips off his clothes and he's ripped. lol Ok no homo so I won't post a pic.
Afterwards we decided to drive into Manhattan to get the famous Halal Chicken and Rice.
lol "WE ARE DIFFERENT"
If you don't know this is just one of those tin can food stands that's open on the street corner.... that rakes in the owner an estimated million + a year. Seriously! There was an identical food stand, same exact type of food and format about 300 feet away - and not a soul was waiting in line. I've heard legends of these hour long waits for this food rain or shine and in freezing cold. Even at 130am the wait was 30 minutes with a line down the block and that was before the wave of clubbers coming out from being hungry. It was good. Of course my stomach was BUMPIN morning after but I have to admit the sauce is mysteriously amazing. Definitely sprinkling some crack in there.
After that I got lost on the way home but again - God willing I got home somehow... haha.
I'm going home in a couple of days so I'll update again there about some interesting things I've been seeing online =D.
I flew home a couple days ago to New Jersey after coming back from a 3 hour drive from a church retreat.
So it was 3 hours to the retreat, 3 hours back, 4 hour bus ride, 2 hour airport wait, 30 min delay, 2.5 hour flight, 30 min drive home. A lot of time... so I've been tired.
I have to say my flights are always interesting. I always hope that one day I'll sit next to a really pretty girl and we'll have a deep, engaging conversation and then after we land we end up going to the same place... but for some reason I always get people who are most definitely 30 years my senior? I should start sitting in the back of the plane... On this particular flight, I was given seat 10E which was sandwiched between a man and a woman. The woman I would say was maybe 50-55, single (no wedding ring), and was involved with some Chicago health insurance group (I was secretly reading her paper work). She was pretty stiff - kinda the stereotypical old, single business woman.
The man to my right was 60-70, smelled like 2 day old after shave, but he was one of those smart guys that didn't care about accessories or whatever cause I was eavesdropping on a conversation he was having about some sort of *-onics or *-optics. Y'know like tectonics or fiberoptics or whatever. So (something complicated)-onics or optics.
So we're sitting there maybe halfway through the flight and I'm just dozing with my ipod on. Woman to my left is reading, man to my right is sleeping. And as I was peering from the man to the woman this smell assaulted my nose. I say assaulted cause it wasn't that type of smell where you get a whiff and then the strong smell comes in... it was just this blitzkrieg of old vinegar and onions, mixed with pig fat... what I believe to be... fart. I don't get how it just exploded inside of my nostrils - usually that kind of thick, pungent smell SEEPS in y'know? There was no warning! It was like napalm style!
^ Inside my nose
When you smell something bad you usually try to snort it out right?! But the stench was...STUCK to my nose smell sensing whatever things! I was in complete shock and as I was turning and I look at the woman she's looking at me like this:
HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE MY AIR!!!!!!!!
And we had one of those psychic conversations -
Her: What....*cough* may I ask you... came out of your ass? Me: It wasn't my ass! I mean it wasn't me! Her: Right. I am now ignoring you, you dirty, smelly asian boy. *Ignore Me: UGH~ *bitter shame, despair, and face in palm
I guess it's a good thing it wasn't that girl of my dreams... but that old man definitely passed that bomb - I know it.
But yeah that was it for this flight - hopefully I won't have to handle that sort of situation in the future. Sigh.
And just some food for thought: Someone was robbing a bank and was getting away so one of the bank tellers jumped out and chased him two blocks, beat the crap outta him and got the money back.
And then the bank fired him cause it was against policy. Something about that just sounds wrong. I kinda wish the world had more comicbook-esque heroes who would do those types of things... not just sit around cause "it's against policy". These people getting fired happens a lot actually.
Lol but a thief tried to pick pocket two Korean men in Italy and the men chased him down and proceeded to beat him up. The thief actually thanked the officer for arresting him =P. I'm too lazy to link the stories they're somewher in Yahoo! news.
For now I'm home, I'll try to blog soon but the house is hot so I get lazy =D.
So I've been busy moving stuff and what not - things have been hectic. I didn't really have anything to talk about until the Gates fiasco had happened. Y'know - black professor being arrested for disorderly conduct in his own home.
I mean - that's never happened to me but it did remind me of when I had an encounter with the police.
This happened when I was 20, and was busy trying to be a professional poker player. A couple friends and I had heard of a house game to play at so we decided to go. It was so shady but being 20 I could only think of the movie Rounders and how awesome Matt Damon-esque I felt.
So we walk into this run down apartment with a poker table in the middle of it and sit down to play. The game wasn't huge, but I would say there was a couple thousand dollars on the table. So the story goes like this:
There's me, three guys I came with, this rich white kid who was high (the owner of the home was offering blunts to players), this chubby nerdy white kid, and some spanish/guido lookin' guy playing at the table. The rest were the host, host's friends, the host's muscle, and this other half white/black guy.
So basically, chubby nerdy white kid lost his money to the guido lookin' guy. Puts his face down and sigh'd, cried a little and left.
So... *exit chubby nerdy white kid 2 sec later, *exit half white/black guy *re-enter half white/black guy We keep playing...and THEN:
We see siren lights outside and a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door.
Ahhh omgggg clean up the chips, get rid of the weed, ahhhhh and some smart ass decided to open his mouth. Not sure who it was I think it was the high kid.
Smartass: We don't have to open the door, they don't have a warrant. Police: *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. We're gonna open the door anyway kid.
Pwned.
So after a while when we've already pissed these sheriffs off we open the door and they have guns out telling us to get to the wall. We get pat down and ID'd.
Haha we're just standing against the wall, the sheriffs threatening us about county jail and how we'll be raped by large tattooed men. Guido is acting cool cause he's been there (and perhaps the other also?) and high rich white kid is standing in the corner pale as a ghost, tearing up, and his hands are up like he's being held hostage. Why he is striking this pose... probably cause he was high haha.
Oh Lord, that sucked so bad. So what had happened was a robbery had occurred and the plaintiff cited one of the people at the apartment as the crook. So they decided to take us out 3 by 3 so that the guy who got robbed could ID us. Me, Iljeen, my other friend are sitting there saying "OH SH*T. IF THE ROBBER WAS ASIAN WE'RE SO SCREWED. WE ALL LOOK THE SAME." And I'm all thinking if I should make my eyes bigger. Then the sheriff yells at Iljeen, "HEY. WHAT'S SO FUNNY. WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE."
And I kid you not Iljeen is not smirking nor does he think anything is funny. His face just looks like that cause he has smile eyes and big cheeks.
*Cop takes out gun. "WIPE THAT SMILE OFF RIGHT NOW!"
And at this moment he's panicking cause he has no expression on his face. Haha so what he does is looks at the ground and starts licking and pursing his lips every 5 seconds. And most possibly tearing up. I heard a sniffle... and I'm probably just making that up
So we go out get ID'd blah blah blah blah and so we find out what happened:
Chubby nerdy white kid left after losing ALL his money. Emphasis on ALL. He leaves alone and half white/black guy walks out after him and tries to rob him. The idiot tried to rob a kid he just watched go bust and cry about it. Good job.
But THEN we find out, chubby nerdy white kid got robbed before after winning some money - BY THE SAME GUY. Idiot. Seriously? You're going to play a game that involves strictly money in front of a guy who robbed you a week before?OMGGGGGgggggggggggggggggg. I can't decide who's worse.
But yeah... relating to the Gates story... it takes a lotta kahones to be belligerent to a cop, even if it is in your own home.
I like to think I have a positive effect on my friends. The lack of me causes terrible things to happen. This picture says most of what I want to say.
1. He's in the Peace Corps. 2. No he's not starved (though he's lost a ton of weight) and he has internet and a social life. 3. Yes, he's at an 80s party. 4. I did teach him how to dance... his current dance position is a key signature move of his OWN that he's MASTERFULLY using. 5. Doesn't his face portray a smug confidence as he approaches the girl? lolol
Again another blog post that was inspired from a conversation. This time about clubbing.
It's actually been a while since I've gone clubbing - but it's really something funny to see how the way people act at them is something that hasn't changed.
The only reason that it's funny is because:
1. People act in very similar ways and they can be grouped together. 2. The actions are always the same. 3. When you look for it, it's SO obvious.
I guess the reason being behind the funny behavior is because clubs are dark, loud, and congested places - and you're probably never going to see whoever again. I'm very sure whoever falls into whatever group does not act like they do outside of the club - well almost, so I guess one could say the club brings out the inner... something.
I'll just name a few that stick out in my mind since you can make modifications to anything/anyone. I won't go into sexuality or race cause those really change things up and - I don't know I feel like it would be dangerous/too complicated to talk about and explain myself lol.
Regular Girl
This girl comes to clubs on a regular basis, but she's not the 'Regular' cause of her attendance. She can look hot or not. She's just that normal girl who comes with her friends (both boys and girls) to have a good time. She's willing to meet people outside her group - but it won't really go much further than that.
Regular Guy
No explanation necessary, see above.
Snotty Hotty
This girl either is that girl who is REALLY HOT (either plastic or not)/thinks she's really hot/knows she's really hot. She goes to clubs with only a few of her girls. If it's with a guy it's some hair greased juggernaut wearing one of those MMA t-shirts (usually TAP OUT) under a sports jacket and designer shades (at night). She's very critical of everyone and everything. Any guy who makes eye contact will suffer a condescending gaze from hell. If you try to dance with her - her ego will eat you alive... or her boyfriend. Not sure which one is worse.
Too Cool for School
That huge MMA guy is this guy. Or he's some (?) sized guy who rides a motor cycle. He's cocky and he hates you if he doesn't know you and talks crap about you if he does. If he bumps into you he won't say sorry, cause he's too cool for school (hehe). What a baddass... And yes 90% of the time he's stupid and his character is as stiff as his hair gel.
Naked Chick
The naked chick isn't naked - she just might as well be though. Usually she's one of those bar dancers or something on break. She's always surrounded by men but she likes the attention cause she's "working". If she's not, she's usually the category above. For some reason they're either 6ft tall, or fat. Weird.
Owl
Lol a girl-friend of mine helped contribute to this one. If you look to the sides of the dance floor there's always multiple (if not an abundant amount) of guys just staring at girls. I mean if you think about it it's socially acceptable for a group of girls to dance with each other - and really homo for a group of straight men to dance with each other (unless they're in a cypher or something -__-). They just stare, and stare, and stare, and stare, and stare until the girl feels it and stares back. And within that stare back they decide if they can dance or not. I do not understand cause for some reason they think a stare back means "Yes, I know you've been staring at me come put your crotch on my butt." This guy came to score and so did his friends. (Un)fortunately, success is seldom. He <3 naked chick/drunken mess.
Drunken Mess
Both men and women. Girls - usually some sort of birthday/bachelorette party/depression/alcoholism. Their clothes are falling off and they'll dance/make out with anyone, anything. A sad sight to see indeed. The men are usually much more belligerent and obnoxious - both are prone to get into fights.
Of course there's many more - but honestly thinking about the people I ran into at the club scene - it's funny to see how most fit into some sort of category... especially the "owl"s =D.
I had an interesting conversation with a friend about ex-girlfriends...I figured I'd share some of our "learning experiences".
Me personally, I don't think I had it TOO bad. I've been hearing a lot of horror of girls breaking TVs, computers, etc. Geez, way to be destructive you women out there.
I mean I was even cheated on but what really sticks out in my head was a girlfriend I had earlier in college. We had a lot of fun together. Countless nights of her going through all my facebook girl-friends and asking me if I thought they were pretty or not. Lol how do you win against that question? If you're honest immediate counter was
"DO YOU LIKE HER?! DO YOU LOVE HER?!" <= (I'm quoting)
and if you lie it's "OMG you're sucha liar (yes I am, but who's perfect) you totally think she is." and you would have to dodge that with "No~ I can see why other guys think she's pretty but she's just not my fit/type/style!" I mean jealousy is definitely something most couples have to deal with but this was pretty nuts. Facebook was a big problem. I would know when I would have a post on my wall from a female before I even looked. The wall had to go for a while. And then there was one incident when I wouldn't tell her my e-mail password so she got really mad and threw a tantrum... and then I told her.
And then she checked my mail. Blah.
There's so many stories it just goes to show you can never win being paranoid/jealous in a relationship. I know a guy who broke into his girlfriend's car so he could check her text messages. BUT DILEMMA!
1. So you find nothing - you're STILL unsatisfied. 2. You find something and you're like "OMG SO SHADY" now how do you confront her and tell her you broke into her car to check her phone?
If you come into posession of your partner's phone...it's just best not to look into it. Haha I once heard a story a girl left her phone at her boyfriend's place and then he went to her place to bring it back. And~ dialogue:
*Knock Her: Hey! Thanks for bringing my phone! Him: (Slowly, low tone, menacingly) Who's ****? (Glare, slowly turn and walk away) Her: But! Him: (Not listening, put hand up y'know - cool backwards wave with fingers curled)
Y'see there's always a freakin' "but!". I mean to be honest - in my eyes the guy would've been so cool like in a drama had the situation been correct but when you look through texts...you fail to see that:
1. The reason texting occurred b/w said girl and **** in question was due to church events and these were mass texts. Such as "Foellinger Auditorium @ 630! Call if you need a ride!" 2. **** was actually said girl's church small group leader and text in question (Hey! 6pm for dinner?) was to meet up and pray.
I also had a really interesting refresh today at church (for a little tangent). I sat next to someone who was possibly involved in my life (He has the same name at least and kind of looks familiar?). This takes us back to girlfriend from earlier college:
So yeah our relationship was kind of dwindling to that "together but not together" sort of status. And she started hanging out with this guy - we'll call him G-Starred cause I don't feel like typing the ******'s. So yeah they started hanging out late at night consecutive days and she'd come back to the dorms and tell me about the board games and fun they had. After the 5th or 6th I don't even know date:
Me: You know he likes you right? Her: (angry, again.) Ugh! How can you make that kind of judgment?! You've never met G-Starred. I think I would know a LITTLE better than you if he did or didn't. (scowl, scowl, scowl.) How would you even know?! (...scowl.) Me: ...I'm a guy. Her: (frustrated.) That doesn't mean ANYTHING! Me: He likes you, I'm 100%. Her: HE'S JUST NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (FREAK OUT!)
(Kudos to you if you get the Freakazoid reference. I miss that cartoon =T)
Psh.
Next day? At least a couple days later. In her mailbox came: Mini-rose in mini vase with mini card:
But I'm a good guy so I didn't gloat - just let it fly. I'm cool like that ;).
Omg, I gloated so hard we got into another fight. I always lost those.
So yeah if there were a lesson to wrap it all up.... tone down on the jealousy and the paranoia, it never works out. And I guess - don't gloat if you're right. Lol. But being right feels so good, HAHA =D
So I've been volunteering at this summer school that my church runs on campus. The school in itself is well run - the staff is mostly graduates who've taken time to volunteer themselves to teach and take care of kids (K - 6th grade).
I am tasked as a volunteer to: feed the children and then supervise their play time at various playgrounds and pools.
As of now:
Most of my time has been spent playing with the kindergarten and 1st grade classes. The kindergarten class has taken to call me "ajussi" (most of them are korean) which usually refers to me being an old man. I have also trained a number of children within the class to stand attention (as in the army). I mean it's not like I TAUGHT them how to do it, they just knew the motions to the words - no, really. Basically, I say "CHUL YUT!" (Attention!) and a few boys happily stand attention and "KYUNG NAE!" (I don't realy know what that means...salutation?) and then they bow to me.
I just realized I have been having some sort of trend with children bowing to me. WHen I was in high school we used to make our friend's little brother (who was 4 or 5) get up on the table on his knees and bow to us (like the way you worship something =X).... Um... he totally started doing it by himself... I think... but after a while we just kept making him do it. Well, I did HAHA. And of course, like my kindergarteners today, he did it with a big smile on his face, giggling.
Eh, twice isn't really a trend - so maybe if it happens a third I'll maybe think about looking back on myself.
I've only had two real incidents while on the job that required some sort of action:
While playing tag a chubby korean boy (I have no idea what his name is), and a skinny red-headed girl named Sophie collided into each other. I mean bumping heads is one thing...but when they made contact they were running so fast it sounded like someone slammed a heavy door. And to this noise OBVIOUSLY my sharp instinct and nurturing nature:
Laughed.
I mean it was only for 1 second. But it was pretty damn funny lol. And of course I handled the crying children. But I must reiterate it was awesome... that sounds wrong but I'll leave at like that.
The next was a little more...egh. After we had gone swimming I was tasked with a fellow volunteer to take the boys to change. The boys had done it before so they were just stripping down in different corners and putting on their dry clothes.
Except for one.
He had no problem getting naked. But then he just kinda of...fiddled with his junk for a little bit. At this my fellow volunteer asked: "Do you have to pee? Does anyone need to pee? We should go first if you have to." Very sensible. But the quiet bugger shook his head. So we told him to put his friggin underwear on.
So ever so slowly, stark naked, he began to put on his underwear. I began to continue my conversation with the other volunteer until we heard water dripping. And of course we look over and this kid has his underwear at his knees and he's going to town peeing all over the floor. I mean - it was funny cause he's peeing all over his leg/underwear/ground (and somehow he got it onto the table? It was one of those baby tables for little kids but still he got it onto the table? lol) And he just kinda looks at the ground at his pee and slowly looks up to meet our gaze.
AHh! So we have to clean this kid up. Andrew (the other volunteer) is trying to wrap the towel around the kid so he doesn't have to walk around the hall butt naked but the kid wants to wear the towel like a cape. So he keeps wrapping him and the kid keeps exposing himself lol. He was.... pretty clueless to say the least. Usually kids cry or something when they have accidents like that...but he just...didn't care!
I don't remember having any accidents at school - the only one I remember was this kid named Tae Ho pooped his pants and sat on it through an Aladin movie in 2nd grade.
Other then that things are really smooth/routine. But yeah - if a kid's naked and fiddling with his junk... I think it's safe to say it means he has to pee. =D
It doesn't come as a surprise for me when I have conversations about parents with Korean friends - or even Asian (and black) friends for that matter, that we have something in common. Something that reigns prevalent within the parenting of minorities is beating your kids. (As Russel Peters would put it). However, I'm astonished to see how similar the method and interactions of parents towards their children is b/w Korean adults.
And I have to come to the realization there IS a guide book. Maybe it's lodged somewhere in that THICK korean/english black leather bound Bible Mom has in between the Scripture and the hymn section (Yeah you know it's there), maybe not, but it's somewhere.
I will brief you who are not totally aware of this method - perhaps so you can do it to your own children, I know I probably will cite some of this text because I must say - being a Korean parent has some perks.
I wasn't sure on how to divvy this section up - I was thinking about doing it along the lines of age, however, it takes too much thought and I never think about what I"m going to write (too lazy) I just write it. So I'm just going to go into basic method, as this is titled 101.
Child Rearing
Hit 'em when they go bad. Breaking promises is not an issue. I remember I got caught stealing a pack of gum and I got caught chewing it. Damn you Hawaiian Punch gum... I RAN to the bathroom and locked myself in there. I was 5. I thought I was smart cause I made a deal with my dad through the door. "Don't hit me ok? and I'll come out." and of course he promised. And then he beat my ass with a golf club. Darn.
Haha another time when I was about to get it the deck door was open so I intentionally started hollering at the open screen door. My dad's pretty sharp. He saw where my eyes were looking and ran at the door and shut it. It's kinda funny...
And then there's a maneuver Korean adults enjoy using called "Gakoo Wa." It translates into "Bring it and come back." You know what IT is. Basically they're saying "Bring the thing I'm gonna hit your ass with and come back here so I can hit you." I would always try to bring him soft plastic things and pretend I was horrified of them. And of course they mean IT. THe default weapon.
Whether they've used it on or not, all Korean parents are masters of this weapon. Tae Kwon Do, Kendo, and shoe horn beating are martial arts taught in Korea. I actually know someone whose dad pulled this and then had his SON hit HIM with it because he said "It's because I'm a bad father." GEEZ way to put a sick twist on the method. You know he took the 300 lvl class hidden inside that huge black shiny cabinet w/ ivory lookin design.
But I've always wondered what if I brought back my dad a big KNIFE or a WRENCH just to mess with 'em. lol too risky...
Conversation
As a Korean parent, you never REALLY truly listen to your child. I mean - it's impossible NOT to pick up a word here and there cause the little bugger is talking to you - but you just want to say what you have to say and get over with it. (Don't take me wrong, this is not that Korean adults hate spending time with their children, it's just boring listening when YOU could be doing the talking.)
Now this rule reigns true especially for arguing. I for one can honestly easily out logic my father and mother. Not that they're dumb, but because sometimes what they say (a lotta the times) is unreasonable.
Me: Mom school's out I have NOTHING TO STUDY. I have a month vacation! Mom: You have to take your free time to STUDY it's PRODUCTIVE. Me: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO STUDY! Mom: Don't raise your voice. Me: I don't even know what I'm going to study. Mom: You should find books on what you have to study. Me: Mom, what did I just say. Mom: ...huh? Me: Umma~ my love. What did I just say. Mom: That doesn't matter. Go study.
You see, she's just using a technique which we will call "Deaf Ears" and "Does not Matter". This way what she says is final, and what you say "doesn't matter."
My father, is a master of submission. Not only does he use "Deaf Ears" and "Does not Matter", he uses the "Interrupt What YOu Say" and "Reiterate Yourself So Much Even When Proven Wrong That You are Right."
Our family is on a family cell phone plan. Our minutes are not partitioned in any real way so it's first come first serve. And when we go over minutes, the person that uses the minutes that are over the most gets hit with the bill. I was hit with the bill and a raging father called me.
Me: Hi Dad! Dad: LOOK AT THIS PHONE BILL WHY DO YOU WASTE LIKE THIS?! Me: HUH?! I just talk and text! Dad: NO. YOU OBVIOUSLY ABUSE. (no grammar error) LOOK AT YOUR BILL. COMPARED TO ME AND PATRICIA (sister) SO HIGH. AGHHHHHHHHHH (the high pitched flemmy sound they make) HOW CAN I PAY FOR THIS. THIS BILL IS CRAZY YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY. Me: Maybe it was minute overage? From the family plan?! Dad: No. I'm calling the company now to see what's up.
10 min later.
Dad: It was overage from the family plan. Me: AHhh see? I didn't do that. Dad: But you have to be more repsonsible! How can we live in this kind of times? We have to be economical! Me: Dad I know bu- Dad: You have to take a certain responsibility in order to help our family! That's your ROLE as a member! We can't just pay pay pay these kind of things. Me: Exactly, I TOTALLY agr- Dad: YOu need to learn as you grow up as a man, you need to live like that with your OWN family. Me: Yeah, you're totally right dad bu- Dad: These sort of things canNOT be ignored you understand me?
-TOTAL SUBMISSION- *ding ding ding
Me: Yes.
And a 2 hr conversation ensues in which father uses the words in all forms: responsible, economy, money, family. And I say yes to all of them.
Oh geez I could go on and on. That's all I'll write on the subject for now as it is late. I'll try to update sooner. Until next time :D Don't argue with your folks!
Currently in California - decided to take some time to blog to take a break from being on the road. 3 hr bus ride to airport, 4 hrs @ the stinkin airport, 3 hr plane ride, 30 min ride to sister's apartment. LONG DAY.
So I've been stuck on this idea on how height is one of the most important things to have. Obviously, it's not everything but it's most DEFINITELY and UNDENIABLY something important. It's no mistake that the average height of fortune 500 company CEOs is 6 ft tall. Being tall makes having "presence" easier. Not to say that I don't have presence....I like to think I do. But when you see a skinny 5'8(and a half) asian guy vs a big tall 6 ft hunk of man in a suit walk into an interview, it's NOT FAIR GAME.
My friend and I always have the same conversation every now and then when we go out and we see a hot girl walk by and she happens to tower over us ( not that she's SUPER tall but with the heels...the damned high heels she TOWERS)
Me: Dude, she's hot. Iljeen: Yeah man...should we go talk to her? Me: Uh, i think she's taller than us? Iljeen: Nah, not really... Me: Dude - her head almost touches the top of the bar Iljeen: So? Me: We're like half way -__-; Iljeen: Oh yeah....
And then we sit there and think and the same segway happens every time:
Me: Aren't we taller than the average? Where are all the people shorter than us? Iljeen: Yeah man the average is like 5'6 Me: yeah...
(Group of asians (male) walk by us...of course they're all 5'10+)
Me: Wtf. Iljeen: Wtf! Me: They definitely ate different rice...
So I researched this so called average height of 5'6. I mean think about it in America: Of course there's huge basketball players but then there's the small peoples....I don't know the correct term for them. And then you have Mexicans/viets... who are all kinda short. Average height in US: 5'9ish. Ok, w/e I fall short here big deal.
I've got to be taller than the South Korean average...
NO
I'M NOT.
Average height in SK: 5'8.7 GAY
And I know exactly why I am this way. My family genes are not particularly short. My sister is 5'6, my cousins are 6' ft. One of my FEMALE cousins is 5'10ish. Why did I get jipped?
And the answer:
*drumroll*
Starcraft ruined my height. How did a game do this? Well, I and thousands (i know this for a fact)...THOUSANDS of other high school boys were staying up for many sleepless nights battling away on BATTLE.NET via 56K. Was there time to eat? Not during intergalatic war! No one would dare leave their online comrades for food. I knew one who was so loyal that he would pee in a bottle. Yes, it was valiant at the time. I need to stop thinking about it or reality will kick in.
And then we would all meet up after and talk about how awesome we were. Little did I know I was slowly killing myself for these people - or at least stunting my growth. We were depriving ourselves of sleep and food during our adolescence when we needed it the most. Sigh, if I could only have that back.
Shoulda thought twice about spending 7+ hrs a day fighting for Aiur. -_-
I've been becoming so lazy nowadays I promise promise I'll make an effort to update more. Summer has been pretty dry when it comes to events. Still being in school sucks and I'm just trying to work on or near campus. As of now I have a pretty routine life I'd say. However, one day did stick out during the week which I found very interesting.
It was probably yesterday, but I'm going to pretend I don't remember what day of the week it was. It was really muggy outside. Wtf is muggy? Like I know when to use the word cause I've heard my parents say it for the longest time but if someone were ask me to define it....wtf is muggy? Anyway. The sky was really grey. Not the ominous cool kind of grey...
gray?...
Grey. Like X-men Jean... Where you think a storm is gonna happen and lightning flashes int he sky and it's like OoOOo. It was a boring ass gray (Like crayola crayon gray) and it was muggy. SO. Muggy, gray and light showers. Emo Day.
And I sadly let myself fall into this emo-NESS. Yes emphasis on NESS. This NESS of emo. Emo NESS. And you know it's kind of like a chain reaction. Especially for someone like me thoughts like "Man, wth, all I did today was watch Korean tv." Do not hate on me watching Hyori play games and tell jokes all day is awesome. Or - "I should work out, but I haven't showered in 2 days...if I work out I need to work out first and THEN shower...but I really wanna shower...but I promised myself I'd work out. Yeah. Fck it I'm showering." As my friend called it - "Fat Person's mentality."
Of course the thoughts of what am I doing with my life and other petty things dawned on me. So the thought was - What do people do to get out of this NESS of emo? This Emo pit we dig ourselves into?
It's interesting how people differ - I've asked around. One girl shops. And I quote:
"When I'm feeling down, I just have to get out there and spend some money." Lol I guess that would make you feel better. Another was the standard eating, hanging out with people. My friend at home either "pwns people in Halo" or sulks in his anger like a little homo. This is actually very common a lot of people seem to enjoy to sulk. The emotional masochists inside of us.... You little biotch.
And another one was masturbate. Lol it was a girl.
K, it was a dude and it was funny but I thought about it. It's a legit emo NESS pick-me-up. I mean after the deed the hormones going through your body just give you that "I Don't give a crap about the world" mentality. I mean it IS to sate your body's lust for a woman. Post pick-me-up: Women don't matter. The wildest and hottest girl of your dreams can walk into your room in whatever fantasy that floats your boat and if it's post pick-me-up, "I'm sorry honey, rain-check tonight ;)". (I guess I should be more universal and include...y'know sex/preference...both?)But yeah, what need there was... was self-tended to. This remains true unless you're my friend Iljeen:
"masturbation does nothing now - its like a 30 second reprieve" lol.
HAHA I once knew a kid who put on women's lingerie (where he got this I do not wish to say but it was within the fam I believe) on his head while he did his...and he fell asleep mid pick-me-up. And when he woke up the panties were gone and his mom was home and she called him in for dinner like nothing happened. ROFL I don't think masturbation does much for him either =P.
....But back to a more PG pick up. One that I find myself doing a lot actually. I watch the end of Ratatouille. I mean the movie as a whole is great but the end is just like wtf this is awesome I feel good about myself now. It's not just me, it's just really self-esteem boosting for some reason.
*edit* I realize the clip is a little shorter than what I'd like to show - I like watching from the point Ego eats the food to the very end - but it was the very best clip I could find.
So yeah - until next time! Don't be an emo! Or don't get caught with panties on your head! :0
