Doo Doo Diwali UNGG!

I am back from yet another busy week and hiatus from blogging - back in the spirit of Diwali! I have no idea what it is and what it's about cept that it's some sort of festival in Hinduism or something. I honestly just liked the name -_- - I just know it was today.

Yeah - pretty random...and going with that I have a couple random things.

-Arranged Marriage-

I wasn't really aware people still did it. Mostly Indian cause the only people I know that do it are Indian. My friend David was good friends with this guy and after a while the guy just disappeared, screened all of Dave's phone calls, and stopped communicating. Finally, the guy calls him back and -

David: Dude, wtf why haven't you got at me?
Guy: Dude - I've been busy. I got married in Palestine.
David: WTF? Is your wife hot?
Guy: Hehe, yeah.

Holler. I guess that's a lot of faith in your folks to not pick an ugly - I mean c'mon - it's arranged so you're not gonna know their personality and blah blah blah, first encounter with your wifey is all looks.

There's this girl in my English class who likes to draw attention to herself and she is also getting an arranged marriage. She just complains and complains and people feel sorry for her -

Girl: UGH! I can't date anyone there's no point! I really wanna run away!
Class girl: Yeah! Just do that!
Girl: But it's really different when your whole family is just lined up telling you you have to marry this guy. It sucks so bad...He sent me all these engagement rings to pick from and I rejected them all. But by next week I'll be back with a 3 karot rock on my finger
Me: (eye roll)
Class girls: Awww.
Class guy: You should sell it and use the money to run away!
Girl: I'm just going to throw it out.

And this continued for like...10 minutes. So I decided to speak.

Class girl: Do you know what he looks like?
Girl: No, no picture - I'm going to hate him I know it.
Class girl: Awww I fee-
Me: What if he's really hot?
Girl: Huh?
Me: What if he's smokin' Indian Brad Pitt man of your dreams hot?


And I wanted to say...but I didn't wanna get lynched:
"I mean seriously - what if he's hot, smart, and pwntastic? And it's actually HIM who's stuck with YOU." lol I shoulda.

-Sharting-

It happens. It sucks. Especially with new fresh underwear on.

-Millionaire Bakers and their kids-

My friend Chris drives an Audi A4. Very nice car - and thus this conversation with his little brother's 11 yr old friend.

Brat: What car do you drive?
Chris: ....an Audi A4 why?
Brat: Do you not have money? Why do you drive that piece of crap?
Chris: ....I have no other money for another car...
Brat: I can see that. I have money. I got $30,000 from Hanukkah last year.

wtf?

Brat: I'm going to drive a lambo.

I like to see brats like that get hit by buses.

lol Jk. Kind of. And his dad is a baker for a lot of the big restaurants in NYC so he wakes up everyday at 4am, bakes a lotta bread and sells it to the restaurants. Anyone want to start a bakery?

-In Korea, tigers go "UNGGGGG!"-

Little kids like to pretend to be animals and play and what not. In America, a child being a tiger goes "raaaah!!" "Rawr!" "Roar!" "Growl!". In Korea - a Korean child being a tiger goes "UNGGG!!" "UngGG!!!" "UNNNNNNNNNNGGG!" Where the fck did we get that noise from?



And PLEASE note fearless ice cold baby stare in picture. Wtf? lol.
Sigh - I'll try to update sooner next time.