Some of the Worst

So the first week of being back on campus is over - pretty busy week now that I think about it. I realize I'm really good at geting myself into sticky situations. On Wednesday? I called my mom to let her know that all is well and I was high spirits so I stuck one of these in: "Umma - Noh loh wah~" (Mumsy - come here and play sometime/visit~) as a joke.... and of course she took it seriously. So I get a phone call from my dad later:

Me: Hello?
Dad: Hey, boy.
Me: Hi, dad.
Dad: So we should visit you huh?
Me: Huh?
Dad: I have to go somewhere the 24th of September, I need to know what's good for you.
Me: Uh...Well....The thing is -
Dad: So when's good for you?
Me: Well, y'know I don't really know my schedule TOTALLY so I'll have to figure tha -
Dad: Ok, Ok. I understand that. I know that. So when's good time to visit? We need to know these kinds of things to buy ticket early!
Mom: ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING!?
Me: Huh?!
Mom: If you have something to confess to me tell me!
Dad & Mom: Blah blah blah (basically telling my mom to hang up but she wants to listen in)
Me: ....
Dad: Are you hiding something?

So I had to lay it on them that September just wasn't a good time (it isn't) since I was so busy doing all these activities. They always ask me "Are you hiding something?." If they knew I was a dealing drugs and getting high they'd still ask "Are you hiding something?" Never ask for something specific - just a broad question to see if I'll cave. Geez.


Anyway - I wanted to talk about what I think is "Some of the Worst". I hope to do a bunch of these cause there's just a lot of garbage on the internet. So I would like to share with you:

SHAKIRA MV - SHE WOLF.

I have taken it upon myself to study and disect this music video. So please read my notes and watch each section carefully or whatever else works for you. Be prepared for some really bad....stuff.

I timed it to this version of the video but they won't let me embed. Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s

0:28 - Ok, I can see why some people would think what she's wearing is hot - But WHY is she in some sort of gemmed large intestine - and walking like a zombie?

0:31/32ish - ...She just gagged herself. And she is now proceeding to do some sort of cracked out version of the robot

0:41 - Crotch shot #1 skin colored tights now

0:42 - ...still holding that pose

0:45 - I dunno... cracked out body wave thing...it looks hard

0:53 - Crotch shot #2

0:56 - Weird dancing begins

1:00 - Crotch shot #3

1:12-1:14 - Lol - best move ever

1:34 - Please note the "Ahhh wooooo" howl in the music

2:09 - Crotch shot #4

2:13 - Lol wtf is she doing in the cage

2:26 - Lol same as above

2:45 - Body spasms

2:49 - 3:03 - The shoulder dance begins you have to watch this through... I don't understand why the director of this video showed it for so long

3:17/18 - Wtf. Random cage pose rofl

3:18 - 22ish - Tribal dance tribute



The lyrics are pretty ridiculous as well - you can look 'em up on your own.

Enjoy some of the worst =D

And in Other News...

I've been really busy as of late, wasn't able to blog cause I was busy preparing for a huge student performance for new comers to campus called "How to Survive". Should be good times.

Just a bunch of things that I've seen...




Anderson Silva vs Forrest Griffin (yeah I know old news)...geez what an embarassment. I don't want to post up the youtube link to the fight cause there's an ad on it but it's pretty brutal. First round KO - Silva literally throws a tantrum and taunts Griffin and then knocks him down, let's him get back up, and knocks him back down. Ouch.


Two great shows from a while back have come back for some news in my life:



Family Matters and...




Fresh Prince.

Now of these three.... there are two men that are looked up to: Uncle Carl, and Uncle Phil. I can recall many episodes when they would sit whoever down and give words of fatherly wisdom. Or words of GAY fatherly wisdom cause both of them are HOMOS in real life. Yes - Uncle Phil and Uncle Carl (I don't care for their real life names those might as well be their real life names) are homos. That really shocked me... kind of hurt me - felt a little betrayed. Nothing wrong with being a gay parent... just...they're not supposed to be? Lol I even read somewhere they were homo with each other? Oh boy.

I would've thought Urkel or Carlton was a homo... meh.

edit -

For those who didn't get the weird reference - I call Carl Winslow Uncle Carl to match Uncle Phil cause little Richie calls him that. =P

Hometown Fun

So I've been in Jersey for about a little more than a week. I must say I was really reluctant to come cause I hate jamming my stuff into a suitcase and going through the whole airport thing. The first thing I enjoyed was Ray's pizza. I've been getting sick of Chicago deep greasy crust - been craving big and thin (BBQ chicken and veggie mmmmmm) I think I've had it for 5 meals lol. I went karaoke-ing (karaoking?) twice...the karaoke bar we go to called "Duet" plays the actual instrumentals not the synthesized ones.......SO GOOD. If you're willing and able come along - no one does karaoke like we do ;) Good times good times.

I went to visit a college friend in Forest Hills (right offa Queens Blvd). I've definitely forgotten how driving in NYC is.

Nightmare.

Traffic was "clear" until a huge tour bus decided to get stuck. My mom's EZ pass for the bridge toll didn't work so I had to wait for an officer to come open it up for me...SO BAD. So many people shaking their head at me flipping me off and honking :( I'm not cut out for that kind of driving. Driving through Chicago even in rush hour does not compare. It's funny - it's like a different culture of road etiquette.

God willing I got there in one piece - we ate and went to see GI Joe.

Now, I knew what I was going to see that movie for. Fighting, guns, girls. Maybe girls with guns fighting (yes!)? And yeah for an action movie it was good, obviously it's not going to get high ratings (it was like 4-6 out of 10...I'm no critic) BUT WHAT MADE THE MOVIE A 10...

MY MAN FROM ALL IN (Korean drama)



Lee
Byung
Heon (sp)

He came out and was lookin' good in his ninja outfit slicing people up and then his mouth opened... and of course I held my breathe cause English with Korean accent is SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAD. Ugh like when Bi(Rain) was on MTV. I just wanted him to shuttup and die or keep dancing when he was talking. But it wasn't broke at all! Was definitely proud to see him in there - not everyone shares the same pride I do when I see a Korean entering into the mainstream movie arena... or any media for that matter - instead of being cooped up in dramas and romance movies that only Korean food markets distribute. It is most definitely a big deal! There's this random fight he just rips off his clothes and he's ripped. lol Ok no homo so I won't post a pic.

Afterwards we decided to drive into Manhattan to get the famous Halal Chicken and Rice.





lol "WE ARE DIFFERENT"

If you don't know this is just one of those tin can food stands that's open on the street corner.... that rakes in the owner an estimated million + a year. Seriously! There was an identical food stand, same exact type of food and format about 300 feet away - and not a soul was waiting in line. I've heard legends of these hour long waits for this food rain or shine and in freezing cold. Even at 130am the wait was 30 minutes with a line down the block and that was before the wave of clubbers coming out from being hungry. It was good. Of course my stomach was BUMPIN morning after but I have to admit the sauce is mysteriously amazing. Definitely sprinkling some crack in there.

After that I got lost on the way home but again - God willing I got home somehow... haha.

I'm going home in a couple of days so I'll update again there about some interesting things I've been seeing online =D.

Air Assault

I flew home a couple days ago to New Jersey after coming back from a 3 hour drive from a church retreat.

So it was 3 hours to the retreat, 3 hours back, 4 hour bus ride, 2 hour airport wait, 30 min delay, 2.5 hour flight, 30 min drive home. A lot of time... so I've been tired.

I have to say my flights are always interesting. I always hope that one day I'll sit next to a really pretty girl and we'll have a deep, engaging conversation and then after we land we end up going to the same place... but for some reason I always get people who are most definitely 30 years my senior? I should start sitting in the back of the plane... On this particular flight, I was given seat 10E which was sandwiched between a man and a woman. The woman I would say was maybe 50-55, single (no wedding ring), and was involved with some Chicago health insurance group (I was secretly reading her paper work). She was pretty stiff - kinda the stereotypical old, single business woman.

The man to my right was 60-70, smelled like 2 day old after shave, but he was one of those smart guys that didn't care about accessories or whatever cause I was eavesdropping on a conversation he was having about some sort of *-onics or *-optics. Y'know like tectonics or fiberoptics or whatever. So (something complicated)-onics or optics.

So we're sitting there maybe halfway through the flight and I'm just dozing with my ipod on. Woman to my left is reading, man to my right is sleeping. And as I was peering from the man to the woman this smell assaulted my nose. I say assaulted cause it wasn't that type of smell where you get a whiff and then the strong smell comes in... it was just this blitzkrieg of old vinegar and onions, mixed with pig fat... what I believe to be... fart. I don't get how it just exploded inside of my nostrils - usually that kind of thick, pungent smell SEEPS in y'know? There was no warning! It was like napalm style!


^ Inside my nose

When you smell something bad you usually try to snort it out right?! But the stench was...STUCK to my nose smell sensing whatever things! I was in complete shock and as I was turning and I look at the woman she's looking at me like this:

HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE MY AIR!!!!!!!!

And we had one of those psychic conversations -

Her: What....*cough* may I ask you... came out of your ass?
Me: It wasn't my ass! I mean it wasn't me!
Her: Right. I am now ignoring you, you dirty, smelly asian boy. *Ignore
Me: UGH~ *bitter shame, despair, and face in palm

I guess it's a good thing it wasn't that girl of my dreams... but that old man definitely passed that bomb - I know it.

But yeah that was it for this flight - hopefully I won't have to handle that sort of situation in the future. Sigh.

And just some food for thought:
Someone was robbing a bank and was getting away so one of the bank tellers jumped out and chased him two blocks, beat the crap outta him and got the money back.

And then the bank fired him cause it was against policy. Something about that just sounds wrong. I kinda wish the world had more comicbook-esque heroes who would do those types of things... not just sit around cause "it's against policy". These people getting fired happens a lot actually.

Lol but a thief tried to pick pocket two Korean men in Italy and the men chased him down and proceeded to beat him up. The thief actually thanked the officer for arresting him =P. I'm too lazy to link the stories they're somewher in Yahoo! news.

For now I'm home, I'll try to blog soon but the house is hot so I get lazy =D.

Bad Boys Bad Boys....go after retards

So I've been busy moving stuff and what not - things have been hectic. I didn't really have anything to talk about until the Gates fiasco had happened. Y'know - black professor being arrested for disorderly conduct in his own home.

I mean - that's never happened to me but it did remind me of when I had an encounter with the police.

This happened when I was 20, and was busy trying to be a professional poker player. A couple friends and I had heard of a house game to play at so we decided to go. It was so shady but being 20 I could only think of the movie Rounders and how awesome Matt Damon-esque I felt.

So we walk into this run down apartment with a poker table in the middle of it and sit down to play. The game wasn't huge, but I would say there was a couple thousand dollars on the table. So the story goes like this:

There's me, three guys I came with, this rich white kid who was high (the owner of the home was offering blunts to players), this chubby nerdy white kid, and some spanish/guido lookin' guy playing at the table. The rest were the host, host's friends, the host's muscle, and this other half white/black guy.

So basically, chubby nerdy white kid lost his money to the guido lookin' guy. Puts his face down and sigh'd, cried a little and left.

So...
*exit chubby nerdy white kid
2 sec later,
*exit half white/black guy
*re-enter half white/black guy
We keep playing...and THEN:

We see siren lights outside and a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

Ahhh omgggg clean up the chips, get rid of the weed, ahhhhh and some smart ass decided to open his mouth. Not sure who it was I think it was the high kid.

Smartass: We don't have to open the door, they don't have a warrant.
Police: *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. We're gonna open the door anyway kid.

Pwned.

So after a while when we've already pissed these sheriffs off we open the door and they have guns out telling us to get to the wall. We get pat down and ID'd.

Haha we're just standing against the wall, the sheriffs threatening us about county jail and how we'll be raped by large tattooed men. Guido is acting cool cause he's been there (and perhaps the other also?) and high rich white kid is standing in the corner pale as a ghost, tearing up, and his hands are up like he's being held hostage. Why he is striking this pose... probably cause he was high haha.

Oh Lord, that sucked so bad. So what had happened was a robbery had occurred and the plaintiff cited one of the people at the apartment as the crook. So they decided to take us out 3 by 3 so that the guy who got robbed could ID us. Me, Iljeen, my other friend are sitting there saying "OH SH*T. IF THE ROBBER WAS ASIAN WE'RE SO SCREWED. WE ALL LOOK THE SAME." And I'm all thinking if I should make my eyes bigger. Then the sheriff yells at Iljeen, "HEY. WHAT'S SO FUNNY. WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE."

And I kid you not Iljeen is not smirking nor does he think anything is funny. His face just looks like that cause he has smile eyes and big cheeks.

*Cop takes out gun.
"WIPE THAT SMILE OFF RIGHT NOW!"

And at this moment he's panicking cause he has no expression on his face. Haha so what he does is looks at the ground and starts licking and pursing his lips every 5 seconds. And most possibly tearing up. I heard a sniffle... and I'm probably just making that up

So we go out get ID'd blah blah blah blah and so we find out what happened:

Chubby nerdy white kid left after losing ALL his money. Emphasis on ALL. He leaves alone and half white/black guy walks out after him and tries to rob him. The idiot tried to rob a kid he just watched go bust and cry about it. Good job.

But THEN we find out, chubby nerdy white kid got robbed before after winning some money - BY THE SAME GUY. Idiot. Seriously? You're going to play a game that involves strictly money in front of a guy who robbed you a week before?OMGGGGGgggggggggggggggggg. I can't decide who's worse.

But yeah... relating to the Gates story... it takes a lotta kahones to be belligerent to a cop, even if it is in your own home.

Weak connection, I know :D.